I'm seeing this girl and she sneezes bits out of her mind
Well she's got breathing problems of the allergy kind
It's really annoying but I still like her a lot
I don't mean to be insensitive, but I can't stand all that snot.

Oh man she needs tissues
Or I'm gonna pay
She thinks she's the victim
Yeah

Now I know she'll feel embarrassed
If I tell her what I think
But if this carries on then
I think I'm gonna be sick

Oh man she needs tissues
Or I'm gonna pay
She says she's the victim
But she's sneezing all over me

I don't know why you're bunged up
I don't know why you find it hard to breathe
Just do me a favour
Try not to sneeze all over me

Now sometimes she sniffs a lot non-stop, but I don't mind
But when she lets her nose keep running
That's where I draw the line
You told me a hundred times how all the doctors' appointments have gone
But I wish you wouldn't phone the clinic
When we're gettin' it on

Oh man she needs tissues
Or I'm gonna pay
She's playing the victim
But she's sneezing all over me
My god she needs tissues
Or I'm gonna pay

If you think that you're OK
Then why do you leave a trail of snot?
Do you think we can't see it?
Well you should know that your nose runs a lot

I don't know why you're bunged up
I don't know why you find it hard to breathe
Just do me a favour
Try not to sneeze all over me