A boy band is made up
Of five guys
>From Kids Incorporated
Or Mickey Mouse Club
Always singing 'bout
Who they love
And use folding chairs
To dance, so

No
I hate all the blonde ones
No
I hate all of the "Crazy One"s too
No
I hate all the fake hip-hop ones
No
Who get all dressed up in FUBU

And no
I can't stand teen pop
Teen pop's the crap
That's clogging up the airwaves
Hanging out in groups of five
On Total Request Live
Chillin' with Carson Daly
I can't stand teen pop
I wish I could kill
Lance, Justin, and J.C.
Wanna take a big fat rope
Wrap it 'round their throats
To silence Chris and Joey

Also, if you wanna be
The newest slutty, teen-pop queen
You need your implants
Before you turn sixteen
You need shiny vinyl pants
That'll show us all your ass
But you had to be on Disney

And, no
I don't like lip-synching
No
Or 10 remixes of one song
And, no
Hopefully they'll be like Tiffany
No
And not be around for too long

No
I can't stand teen pop
Teen pop's the shit
That haunts me in the night
On each magazine in every store
Dressed up like a whore
Hair bleached out so white
I Can't stand teen pop
I wish I could choke Christina
So she'd stop
Dancing 'round on MTV
Looking so skanky
Pretendin' to be a genie

If none of your shirts pass your navel
Oh yes girls, I'm talkin' to you
If you always wear matching outfits
Oh yes boys, I'm talkin' to you
If you're in a group, and 28 years old
Oh yes guys, I'm talkin' to you
And if Louie P
Still makes money
I'll die
I don't want no
No...Pop (x5)

Chorus 1

Chorus 2

If you're a pretty boy
With a record contract from Jive
That leaves you in the class of pop
Never rising
I won't find it surprising
If your music is cheese
And you dance around on stage
Like a dog with fleas
So, your music gives me something
To bitch about
Listening to you whine
Pisses me off and makes me shout
But first there is a question that
I would like to ask Britney
How many times have you given
Your manager a Lewinsky?
I'd be completely satisfied
If I could just strangle ya
Maim and then mangle ya
Your bones, they would jangle-ah
With diamond-like precision
Complete silence
Is what I envision
'Cause I'm secretly wishin'
I could kill Ricky Martin
Mr. Lou Pearlman
Is cashin' in with LFO
And he's pimpin'
N'SYNC and Backstreet are his hos
They're touring
All 'round the world
Pleasing those 12 year old girls
Except when my plot unfurls
They'll all be bleeding though

Repeat Chorus 1 and 2