The Lyrics
Intro: Yo, nits and lice, I’ll itch’em
Lice, lice, itchy
Lice, lice, itchy
Verse 1: Alright stop, grab the mayo and shampoo
Lice are back and they are sure to get you
Something moves on my head so slightly
And it itches like crazy, daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo, this is Hell!
And this mayonnaise, really smells
To the extreme, my mom agrees that it’s smelly
So she goes and gets the petroleum jelly
Dang! That stuff got stuck in my hair
My mom called the docs and they said, “That don’t go there!”
Genius! Gotta go to the barber shop
And then he clips and he snips all my hair on top
But it was worth it; the lice are all gone
So I sat down at my desk, to write this song
Now there is a problem, me it’s scarin’
Looked at my hat, that my sister was wearin’
Chorus: Lice, lice, itchy
We got some lice, lice, itchy
We got’em
Lice, lice, itchy
We got some lice, lice, itchy
We got’em
Verse 2: Now that the louses are spreading
We must wash our stuff, including our bedding
Quick to freak out, to freak out like crazy
We’re gettin’ new sheets from that store called Macy’s
Scratchin’ them, destroyin’ nits or louses
We went searching for some brand new houses
And we found one, with a pimped out hot tub
We are lice free and I’m gonna hit the club
Rollin’ with my friend named Moe
With my cap on top so my scalp don’t show
The girlies were dancin’, and I was romancin’
Is she hot? Wow, at first glance man!
Kept on pursuing on to her place
I scored really big, and she has a beautiful face
That face was great, yo
So I continued to Room 1A, Main Street Avenue
Girl was hot, wore my cap and bikini
Workin’ her magic like a hot genie
Happy! Cuz I’m here with a chick
Came so far from the mayonnaise, that was sick
Thinkin’ my life finally changed
And then it all turned bad and I thought that it was strange
Loud shouts ranged out in her home
She grabbed her head and she scratched her dome
Crawling, on her head, I could see
Many small bugs, Lice Attack III!
Wonder I wonder, just how she got that
Lookin’ all around and then I notice my hat
There’s lice on this thing! To fibers they cling
Forgive me girl, and don’t take another swing
Now there is a problem, me it’s scarin’
Got all her lice, from the hat I was wearin’
Chorus: Lice, lice, itchy
We got some lice, lice, itchy
We got’em
Lice, lice, itchy
We got some lice, lice, itchy
We got’em
Verse 3: Take heed, cuz I’m a head lice magnet
Not a clean freak like Danny Tanner, played by Bob Saget
My head, is a Mecca for the lice kind
Wherever I go, they are sure to find
Cuz my skull’s like some hazardous waste
Poisonous stuff to run away from in haste
Infested and mad, this is hell of bad witchcraft
I hate this life; I want a head graft
For this, I’d pay lots of cash
All of this scratching is giving me a rash
Inflammed! Other people say, “damn!”
If all lice were extinct, I’d be a happy man
I’ll try anything to get rid of these bugs
I will try any soaps or untested drugs
I have got a problem, it is unfair
I could be worse, could have lice on my downstairs
Chorus: Lice, lice, itchy
We got some lice, lice, itchy
We got’em
Lice, lice, itchy
We got some lice, lice, itchy
We got’em
Yo, man let’s get out of here
Word to my louses!
Outro: Lice, lice itchy
This sucks…
Lice, lice, itchy
This sucks, this sucks…
Lice, lice, itchy
This sucks, this sucks…
Lice, lice, itchy
This sucks, this sucks…