Escalators, they'd escalate any situation, honestly, real batshit too
But nobody really needs them, you see
Send you to madness 'cause they're real douchey to the extreme, total freaks
Escalators: shut up!

Can try and say "Hold tight", but these real fools
Will careen into the street, tryin' to assume
The worst things can be 'cause only when it's nuts
Do they think it's fine, makes no sense, I know
They won't let things slide, it's their ABC
All that spells out in their mind: "Always Be Crazy"
In their own little world, would by fine by me
But they will drag you right in while they straight freak
So let's say I miss a little text message
To them, that means I've died, it's almost impressive
How quick one can fly or at least jump
To a conclusion that to sane folks seems nuts
'Cause they post "R.I.P." ev'rywhere they lurk
Callin' the fun'ral folks up, put in all the work
To get all my fam'ly in, that's a long-ass trip
So when the asshole learns they're wrong, they'll pay all of it
It drives me mad, it's clear they need help
I can't believe they think their method's swell
The massive swing to murder and death
And when it's all over, it's "Man, what next?"
Near ev'ry situation that they hear of now
Will never be simple 'cause they never calm down, I've found
So easy to make up shit when you're not all bogged down
With those things one calls "facts", no fun in all that now
When you can simply flip and act like such a clown
But sadly without Batman comin' around
To put a fist in their eyes, I must compensate
To do it myself when I see 'em, what a pain
Or maybe I'll kick them in the asshole
Perhaps I'll make ground beef patties out of their balls
When they're droppin' and yellin', it's a tad bit late
Should think 'bout what occurs when you escalate

When it's only written down, don't give a crap, you know
You're conspiracy-minded? You're a real joke
Sit down and lurk with other dumb jerks
But whenever it dare goes into real life, it hurts
Now most people heed the warnin' signs that
Tell them that this crap never helps and that's facts
Clam up, clam up, you're a knob
'Cause the outcomes you see are products of a freak
Positive thoughts never show up, that's wrong
You need some real desp'rate help
Can't call cops when in real strife
When you see all paths to hell
The sites that ban you rapidly swell
You're the Doomguy no-one likes
"This whole place will go down 'cause no-one can type
Correctly! I'm right!"
You're always goin' berserk and it never ends well
To the point you've got a fave jail cell

Repeatin' the same exact damn error
Is nuts, scale it back, I dare ya
'Cause you'll find that I'm gentle
I'm relativ'ly tame (whoo!), my foot's way off the pedal
Just sing with this melody that bops
A little more nice, you might just bristle
But I know that you know other people will inflict
More than threats whenever you pull this outrageous shit
And I know that you don't have real bad intentions, okay
But cut it out, you're a moron, there's no need to escalate