I'm all out of luck
Runnin' so short on luck
Splattered by a ladder and the medical bills suck
Bleedin' all down my leg with my white Nikes on
All out of luck--Yes, it's going going gone

Went down to the mall down town
Got lost near the lost and found
Forgot where I had parked later that night
In the food court I bought a meal
I used a fork and heard it squeal
Ran right off my plate before I could bite

Oh and yesterday I ate a chapstick, thought it was candy dear
And a chipmunk bit my toe off in a fight
I'm lost my job cause I was late
Well, All that free time sure was great
At least until they turned out all my lights

Because I'm all out of luck
Stuck in a big ol muck
I spilt Giner Ale all over my leather tux
And my head has really swollen from that paintball shot gun
Feel like a putz and it ain't no fun

Oh, don't care that the lucky stars aren't shining down on me
or that pens bust in my pocket a whole bunch
But when I got hit by tree trunks
It turned my new car into junk
It's then that I think I have had too much

But still I'm stuck with bad luck
Drivin' me down right nuts
I have had my hips replaced, from evil steroid ducks
Watchin' out for anvils, those ducks threw from that pond
Yes I'm all out of luck and my mind is near gone

I'm all out of luck
All out of luck
Man it's awfully scarry when you get hit by a truck
I'm sick of slipping lately, on my room-mates tampons
Hope that I have better luck with a hel-met on