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Song Parodies -> "Open Container"

Original Song Title:

"Fifth Symphony"

Original Performer:

Beethoven

Parody Song Title:

"Open Container"

Parody Written by:

Al Silver

The Lyrics

If you wish to follow along with the music, the First Movement is at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4IRMYuE1hI
Leave me alone! Leave me alone!

The beer is in a paper bag; no one can see
Why do you officers insist on hassling me?
Go catch a crook, make an arrest
I'll take a breathalyzer test
WHY DO YOU LAUGH AT ME?

Leave me alone!

Here's my I.D. -- my record's clean, go check it out
I can't get drunk from just one Coors; you two are louts

Good God! A summons!
"Open container"

I've not committed an offense
This doesn't make a bit of sense

Just who's offended?
No one's offended.

You can see that I am not a wee bit tight
I pose not a danger 'cause my skin is white
Take the summons back and I'll be out of sight.
RIGHT?

This is a real shakedown
I will get myself a lawyer
This is nothing but extortion
Oh, my goodness -- not the handcuffs
Arrgh, the choke hold's getting tighter
Ouch, your baton's up my rectum
What's the fine for urination?
When I drink beer I must pee
So may I go behind that tree?

(etc.)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.7
How Funny: 1.7
Overall Rating: 1.7

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   11
 12
 12
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - November 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Roll over, Beethoven! Reminds me of a jazz version "A Fifth of Beethoven" I heard at a Boston Pops outdoor concert decades ago; heard it again yesterday at a performance of "Gala of the Royal Horses" in Norfolk VA. My advice, when stopped by police: remain silent, "take the Fifth" (Amendment); don't mention the Coors can. 5s!
Patrick - November 10, 2014 - Report this comment
There are a lot of stories of police brutality on the internet these days. This is the first one I've seen set to music. Well done.
Al Silver - November 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Thanks, Barry and Patrick. Good advice, Barry. I promise to stop being a menace to society.
Giorgio Coniglio - November 11, 2014 - Report this comment
I won't debate whether this is parody - original had no lyrics obviously. But it is great comic writing. Glad to see you back, old friend.
Al Silver - November 11, 2014 - Report this comment
Hey, paisan Giorgio -- what a coincidence! I was checking out your latest parodies on your first-class web site http://ukableparodies.blogspot.com/ just yesterday. At the top of the list was a spot-on Hamlet's Soliloquy/Edmund Fitzgerald. My favorite line: "And thus conscience makes all of us chicken" (rhymes with "sicken").
All of Beethoven's symphonies had lyrics. "Words and Music by Schiller and Beethoven" was a big imprimatur on Blechpfanne Alley. Unfortunately, with the exception of the last movement of the Ninth, all the manuscripts with lyrics were destroyed in a flood when Mr. Margolis's bathtub in the apartment above Beethoven's overflowed. Also lost were Symphonies 10-13 and Concerto in F for Ukulele.
Nah, I'm not back. When songs were no longer being written, starting in 1956, my repertoire came to an abrupt end. So I'm a stranger to the musical culture around here. And the majority political ideology? Toto, I think we're still in Kansas.
Giorgio Coniglio - November 12, 2014 - Report this comment
Damn Margolis and his overflowing bathtub. How the world would have loved to hear Beethoven's 13th!!!. And it could use more of your well-crafted pieces as well.
Patrick - November 14, 2014 - Report this comment
I am in Kansas, and the prevailing ideology is going my way for the moment.

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