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Song Parodies -> "Everyone's Selling Those Hoses"
Original Song Title:
"Everything's Coming Up Roses"
Original Performer:
Bette Midler
Parody Song Title:
"Everyone's Selling Those Hoses"
Parody Written by:
Parody Pete
The Lyrics
Ad interruption in your program, baby
At first it bugs you, baby
Then buying urge comes on you, baby
On TV - day and night
Hawking products,
With all of their might..
Demonstrate - sure looks swell
Lately, everyone's selling those hoses
Watch 'em flex ! - see 'em shrink !
So much better than you'd ever think
Light of weight, will not kink,
Lately, everyone's purchasing hoses
Call this number - 1-800, toll-free
First, you're grinning, but wait, it's just the beginning
On the phone, you'll be stuck,
As they offer tons more of their schmuck
You'll go nuts, like I did
'Cause you can't close the deal - till they're all thru
Lately, everyone's selling those hoses,
Buy one, you get two...
Makes you want it - presentation's so grand
Should poo poo it, but you jump up, dial, and do it
Curses now - on the phone
Half an hour, won't leave you alone..
Sell, sell, sell, - you shall see
Tempting deal - one hose free
Add cost for shipping, handling, not that cool
Oh yes, everyone's selling those hoses, gadgets and frills
Electric spectacles, dog shoes, and cattle prods,
Everyone's on tv, brainwashing you and me
Everyone's selling those hoses,
Don't buy one, you fool..
At first it bugs you, baby
Then buying urge comes on you, baby
On TV - day and night
Hawking products,
With all of their might..
Demonstrate - sure looks swell
Lately, everyone's selling those hoses
Watch 'em flex ! - see 'em shrink !
So much better than you'd ever think
Light of weight, will not kink,
Lately, everyone's purchasing hoses
Call this number - 1-800, toll-free
First, you're grinning, but wait, it's just the beginning
On the phone, you'll be stuck,
As they offer tons more of their schmuck
You'll go nuts, like I did
'Cause you can't close the deal - till they're all thru
Lately, everyone's selling those hoses,
Buy one, you get two...
Makes you want it - presentation's so grand
Should poo poo it, but you jump up, dial, and do it
Curses now - on the phone
Half an hour, won't leave you alone..
Sell, sell, sell, - you shall see
Tempting deal - one hose free
Add cost for shipping, handling, not that cool
Oh yes, everyone's selling those hoses, gadgets and frills
Electric spectacles, dog shoes, and cattle prods,
Everyone's on tv, brainwashing you and me
Everyone's selling those hoses,
Don't buy one, you fool..
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All the Wal-Mart and Dollar General stores in my area have a shelf for "As Seen On TV" stuff. That undercuts the old line "Not Sold In Stores" and saves you the shipping and handling and the "Allow 4 to 6 Weeks for Delivery".
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