Tree Frog Man (Ode)



Poor Johnny Spencer was pitiful
His love life really blows
No girls would ever notice him
Even if fire shot out from his nose
But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated tree frog jumped down
Oh, and now Johnny climbs about all of the time
And he's hoppin' all over town!

Oh, aye di'di' diddy di'!
Oh, aye diddy di'! Da-dum!

Croak us a song, you're the tree frog man!
Croak us a song tonight!
'Cause we all really need us a hero now,
And you'll have to do for tonight!

Now Zach Moore is this really annoying kid
Who horns in on Morgan Maine
Oh, but too bad for him
It seems she prefers men
With two nictitating membranes!
And Devon is John's metro sexual friend
Who never got to meet his real dad
Oh, but if he'd ever see his dad's identity
He'd really be even more sad!

Oh, aye di'di' diddy di'!
Oh, aye diddy di'! Da-dum!

Neal Davenport is a substitute teacher
And Devon is his long lost son
They say he's insane and he likes to cause pain
And he burns folks alive just for fun

Now he's wearin' some Halloween costume
And he's throwin' pumpkin bombs from the sky
Yeah, he's ridin' around on some glide machine
Even though he looks too fat to fly!

Oh, aye di'di' diddy di'!
Oh, aye diddy di'! Da-dum!

Croak us a song, you're the tree frog man!
Croak us a song tonight!
'Cause you're quick, and you're tough, and you're slippery now
But where did ya' learn how to fight?

It's a pretty sad day at the funeral
Neal Davenport has bitten the dust
And I heard Devon said he wants Tree Frog Man dead
Ah, but his buddy John he can trust
Oh, and Morgan is all hot for Johnny now
But he says she'll just be in harm's way
But to make a boyfriend from this amphibian
She'll have to try some other day!

Oh, aye di'di' diddy di'!
Oh, aye diddy di'! Da dum!

Croak us a song, you're the tree frog man!
Croak us a song tonight!
'Cause we think that you'll make a good hero now
But ya look kinda gay in those tights!