Song Parodies -> "Help Me Jane Fonda"

Original Song Title:

"Help Me Rhonda"

Original Performer:

Brian Wilson & The Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Help Me Jane Fonda"

Parody Written by:

Too Rich Olson

The Lyrics

I've been waitin' a whole raft of years for somedamnbody to get around to makin' a Bluegrass Beachboys Album.And while I'm waitin' I borried a tune of their'n to help along an idee that's been "doin' in my head" recently. Like me, the Beach Boys were never ones to pass up a good tune, even if they didn't write it.

HELP ME RHONDA (help me Jane Fonda)
Medium Bluegrass rock

1) When I say The Pledge the God part you won't hear.
Wasn't there when I learn't it, and to me it still sounds queer.

The Pledge worked fine back then,
Through two wars way back when.

Please help me Rhonda
Get it out of The Pledge!

Chorus:
Help me, Rhonda! Help, Help me Rhonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help me, Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help, Help Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help me Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help, Help Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help me Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Get it out of The Pledge!

2) I must'a said The Pledge about six thousand times.
I guess the Gov'MINT could a-rest me for all them crimes.

Those down in D.C.
Must be nearer my God than me.

I neejata help me Rhonda
Get it out of The Pledge!

Chorus

3) Onc't upon a time I used to get my religion at home.
Then they told us we had to recite God Poems.

At school they tell us God is great,
And they make us meditate

Please help me, Rhonda!
Get it out of the schools!

Chorus

Some folks 'round here want Commandments on the school house walls.
Else kids'll be makin' graven images in the halls.

And causin' all manner of strife
Covetin' their neighbor's wife.

You gotta help, help me Rhonda
Get'm outta my school.

Chorus:
Help me, Rhonda! Help, Help me Rhonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help me, Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help, Help Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help me Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help, Help Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Help me Jane Fonda!
Help me, Rhonda! Get'm outta my school.
In Jesus' name Rhonda, Get'm outta my school.
In Jesus' name Rhonda, Get'm outta my school.
In Jesus' name Rhonda, Get'm outta my school.
Help me, Rhonda
(Fade out ending)

spoken loud (with lotsa reverb) "Amen Bros & Dobros!"

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Maya - June 23, 2003 - Report this comment

Um, why do you want Jane Fonda to help you?

Adam B. - June 24, 2003 - Report this comment

Good parody. I have a good idea to replace 'under God" which was inserted by McCarthyists. How bout "One nation, many religions or lack thereof, indivisible..." I think that's really what the country's supposed to be about, and "under God" implicitly connotes the Christian God to the exclusion of all other religions or nonreligious beliefs.

Michael Pacholek - June 26, 2003 - Report this comment

Why does he want Jane Fonda to help him? Because he'd like to tick off Ted Turner, and she has some experience in that area. Maybe he should talk to Ted about how to push Jane's buttons.

MLE - July 01, 2003 - Report this comment

Excellent job. Jane Fonda used to be a peace activist, went to North Viet Nam, was branded an ultra liberal. That was before she met Ted Turner. Just so you know...

Trance - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment

Turner and Fonda deserve each other

Not fond o' Fonda - January 22, 2018 - Report this comment

Well Uncle Ho was down cause Nixon had him on the run ............ Then Janie came around and sat down at an ack ack gun ... THAT's how you do "Help Me Fonda." .... Help me, Fonda; help me get 'em out of the South (Mao, Mao, Mao, Mao, Mao, Mao, Mao ....)

U2 Stops the Traffic - January 24, 2018 - Report this comment

The people of this country seem to think they're BETTER than God so the Pledge is just empty talk anyway. It's a lot like what Johnny Cash said in the U2 song 'The Wanderer': 'They say they want the Kingdom but THEY DON'T WANT GOD IN IT'. Besides, Donnydouschbag Trump thinks he's a god anyway so there you have it.

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