Norma Jeane, as older I grew
Oh Norma Jeane, with stirrings so new
You're helpin' this teenage boy start to get a clue

As I was adolescin', growin' up still
I snuck magazines from my Daddy's till
A pin-up pic unfoldin' from the centerfold
Feelin' I'd dug up a pot of gold
A staple in navel, a "Great Divide" [1]
From "bumper" to "bumper", starin' googly-eyed

Norma Jeane, I'm stickin' like glue
Oh Norma Jeane, I view and re-view
You started me doing those things, was so into

Pink in the picture on top of the "hill"
It's such fun wallowin' in a masculine thrill
First thing I saw, that feminine frill
Do it again and again, never quite getting my fill
Lovely curve, reclining, stretch
She with that "hourglass", toe to neck

Norma Jeane, made Playboy's™ debut [2]
Oh Norma Jeane, by posing for Hugh
You broke the bar, doing those things they called taboo

Her movies, they gave me a Seven-Year Itch [3]
Some Like It Hot, how I would start to twitch
I like brunettes, but Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Still tooted my horn, and it still responds
The sub-way grate blowin' skirt over her head
With poor Joe DiMaggio turnin' red [4]

Norma Jeane, what happened to you?
Oh, Norma Jeane, it cannot be true
You've left us all missing you, feeling oh so blue

Her health, it declined; in drink, she'd drown
Helped wash those prescription drugs right down
Poor Norma Jeane a-lying like a sack of lead
The coroner said, an overdose, and she's dead
Both Kennedys playin' so innocent, still
Always thought, Norma Jeane, did they slip you a pill? [5]

Norma Jeane, we bid you adieu
Oh Norma Jeane, we're saying, "thank you"
Here's Tommy T.'s parody praise, long overdue




[1] Old joke from that era: "I was 22 before I learned that women didn't all have staples in their navels".

[2] Center picture in the very first issue, although it didn't fold out, and called "Sweetheart" rather than "Bunny™"; also appeared on the cover, the only cover that didn't feature the Bunny logo, or even a date, as Hugh Hefner wasn't sure there would be a second issue. Norma Jeane made sure that there would be :)

[3] They still play these movies even today, you know. TT is waaay too young to have seen them when they were first released, OK?

[4] Director Billy Wilder deliberately created a media circus by refilming the shot (on a public street in New York City) many more times than was necessary, as crowds gathered and gawked, and the paparrazi had a field day. Apparently, her husband wasn't too happy about it; they quarreled afterward, separated, and two months later, they were divorced. ... Pardon me for asking, but did he think he was marrying a librarian, or what? D'oh...

[5] Did she have an affair with JFK and want to marry him? When he was forced to break it off for fear of harming both his marriage and his image, did Bobby (RFK) fill the void for a while? Did they silence her permanently for fear of the truth coming out? We'll never know, but my gut says yes to all.