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Song Parodies -> "If I Only Had the Guts"
Original Song Title:
"If I Only Had the Nerve"
Original Performer:
Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz)
Parody Song Title:
"If I Only Had the Guts"
Parody Written by:
Patrick McWilliams
The Lyrics
As I understand it, this song was shortened to fit as a medley with the Scarecrow's and the Tin Man's songs. There was a full-length version and it is on that idea that I built this parody, as a stand-alone song.
I'm the nerd the bullies picked on
Slapped and punched and kicked on
Till it almost drove me nuts
My high school years were scary
Some considered me a fairy
'cause I didn't have the guts
All my life a craven coward
On whom taunts and fists were showered
A mark, an easy touch
I could have scattered all those phonies
If I just had the cojones
All I needed was some guts
Why, oh why, was I born so meek and shy
If I would only try
I could be a macho guy
After one last dig atrocious
I finally turned ferocious
And kicked them in the nuts
I might take up public speaking
Maybe even public streaking*
'cause I've finally got the guts
Slapped and punched and kicked on
Till it almost drove me nuts
My high school years were scary
Some considered me a fairy
'cause I didn't have the guts
All my life a craven coward
On whom taunts and fists were showered
A mark, an easy touch
I could have scattered all those phonies
If I just had the cojones
All I needed was some guts
Why, oh why, was I born so meek and shy
If I would only try
I could be a macho guy
After one last dig atrocious
I finally turned ferocious
And kicked them in the nuts
I might take up public speaking
Maybe even public streaking*
'cause I've finally got the guts
*That'll show 'em
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User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
You should take pride in this parody.
Well done, fraidycat!
At least I have the guts to allow comments. The guy with 1500 anti-George Bush songs doesn't. Why write a song unless you want to hear what other people think of it.
William Tong disables comments as a service to the website, because the political bickering about his parodies between liberals and conservatives here can be, and has been, quite mean-spirited and overlong!
There are so many web sites where one can argue politics. Maybe this site should require that responses to political songs be in the form of verse with melody.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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