(In Oslo where life is slow
When a tourist arrives here's what the guides fail to state)

Vitamins to buy? get a prescription, stand in line
Crappy Norway
If you think bestiality is fine, women with horses and swine
Crappy Norway
Better check what you did bring, 'cause they tax everything
And it's a sure thing crime's all over
Drugs and drinking all day, most look away
Police soft on crime, folks will tell ya

You'll feel like a fool when the lodgings aren't cool
Crappy Norway
When you walk down a street with bums at your feet
And hippy hubs
People act like royalty but are not
Delusions of grandeur, oops, sorry
Well to be, but not really, at debt ceilings
Crappy Norway

[Repeat Verdes 1 and 2]

Then throw up.

Crappy Norway