(In My kitchen where Ramen's king
When nuke meets spoon and blows up things)

When the oven flames high like a pyro surprise
That's My Cooking
When the chef seems to cry cause I blew up his pie
That's My Cooking
The Pan Stings Oh-my-god-it-stings, Hate-this-cooking-thing
And I screamed "Shit or Dammit"
Grilled Cheese baked over-cooked-today, always-burnt to-shame
Not a way to impress eh?

When the noodles turn blue because I'm such a fool
That's My Cooking
When someone eats my meat and blood drips on their feet
Food is raw
When you smell all my stink bet you know to be
running away-oy vei
Silly Me, tongue in cheek, the story of the week
That's My Cooking

When the Toaster blows high like the 4th of July
That's My Cooking (that's his cooking)
When the class laughs and cries like Weird Al just stopped by
That's My Cooking (that's his cooking)
Alarms ring ring-a-ling-a-ling, sirens-scream-and-sing
And fingers fling in my face
I just say tried-to-cook-today, tried-to-cook-okay
No I can't eat my cheese cake (yucky cheese cake)

If the food makes you drool just like DiGiorno's do
Not My Cooking
If you want to eat wheat without feeling tipsy
Don't call me
When you walk in on me and It's burning the
ceiling, oh help me please
Excuse me, I warned thee, back before you met me
That's My Cooking
(My Cooking)
That's My Cooking. . . .