~

[GREEK ‘SHORUS’]
On Jersey Shore™ where ‘tude is King
It’s MTV
You hear ‘ka-ching’...

[SNOOKI]
When you’re cast in some show packed with juiceheads* and hos
That’s ‘The Shore’, eh?
When you moon just to air your spray-tanned derriere
That’s The Shore™, eh?

Shore gal’s plan:
Hustle up a man
Lend a helpin’ hand
‘Til hee’s span’s beat’a swella!

Mother T’s
Hope for chastity’s
Blown on sausage spree
STD’s: Shoremonella!

[GREEK SHORUS]
That poor fella!

[SNOOKI]
When you wind up each night in a drunken cat-fight
That’s ‘The Shore’, eh?
And you can’t count past three but have mad exper’tease
In four-ways...
When yer hittin’ such lows
Even Winehouse says, “Whoa! Where’s your morays?”
That show’s plan’s
Goin’ grand:
“Snooki’s out-Sheen’d Lo-han”
That’s The Shore, Aay!


[GREEK ‘SHORUS’]
When you wake up most morns’ on the set of some porn
That’s The Shore, eh?
[SNOOKI]
Chapped n’ sore A!

[SHORUS]
And for third time you’re ranked People’s ‘Scurviest Skank’
That’s The Shore, eh?
[SNOOKI]
Tatty whores, yay!

[SHORUS]
Showin’ skin!

[SNOOKI]
Ho’in’ up the twins!

[SHORUS]
Mixin’ rum n’ gin!

[SNOOKI]
Fist pumpin’--in some hot club

[SHORUS]
No yacht club, is thot club!


[SNOOKI]
Then lurch home

[SHORUS]
With a Guido drone

[SNOOKI]
Strip da’ poor ‘Stallone’

[SHORUS]
Jump his bones--in the hot tub

[SNOOKI]
That’s ma' slot, Bub!

[SHORUS]
Then--you--hit season three and yer up against Glee
That’s a war, eh?
[SNOOKI]
Settle scores, yay!

[SHORUS]
So you stab their whole cast so yer gravy train lasts
[SNOOKI]
Friggin’ A!
They’re *way* too gay!


[SHORUS]
Then you let slip in bed...

[SNOOKI]
“I invented the web”

[SHORUS]
You’re AL GORE, eh?!

[SNOOKI-GORE]
Ooo ooo oops!


[SHORUS]
Tranny whore

[SNOOKI-GORE]
Snooki Gore’s

[SHORUS]
Queen of hot season four

[SNOOKI]
On The Shore, Aay!

[SHORUS]
Lots’a Goreplay?

[ALL]
That’s fer Shor’, Ayyyyy!

~

* Juiceheads: Gym-rat narcissists employing steroids to augment muscle mass.