I'm in the Army - Special Forces
And I got my marching orders
I'm going to a land
Called Afghanistan
Spending Christmas with the Taliban

We're supposed to find this guy Bin Laden
Smoke him out from where he's hidin'
Stuck in a cave
He won't ever shave
Spending Christmas with the Taliban

Now they tell me there can be no music
No presents, no lights, no Christmas tree
No Rudolph, no sleigh bells, no St. Nick
Because of the Taliban decree

They are awful mean and ruda
They smashed a bunch of Budda's
If you don't wear a veil
You go to jail
Spending Christmas with the Taliban

Well we finally found Osama
In the Tora Bora mountain range
We packed him up, sent him home on a llama
Now you won't believe how much has changed

We'll have some pumpkin pie and turka
The girls will take off their burkas
We'll sing and dance
Maybe make some romance
No more Christmas with the Taliban
No more Christmas with the Taliban
We'll have no more Christmas with the Taliban