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Song Parodies -> "Looter's Wonderland"

Original Song Title:

"Winter Wonderland"

Original Performer:

Felix Bernard & Richard B Smith

Parody Song Title:

"Looter's Wonderland"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

One of the fastest parodies I've ever written. Let us honor the memory of Michael Brown and Eric Garner by stealing from and burning down the stores of people who had nothing to do with either death. If my car were blocked on the highway by a bunch of protesters, I'm sure I would give the finger and shout some curses at the cops who came to haul the protesters away so I could get moving again. If only all that rage and energy could be directed where it might do some good. But history says that is not going to happen.
Sirens wail,
We're not listening
From the store
Stuff is missing
Prepared for a fight
We're greedy tonight
Running through a looter's wonderland

Time is ripe for some action
Here to preach, Jesse Jackson
He rants and he raves
That we were once slaves
Stealing in a looter's wonderland

In the Wal-Mart we can build a bonfire
And pretend that it's for Michael Brown
'cause he's dead and buried
We'll say "Yo, man!
We're gonna smash and rob
While we're in town".

Long ago
We conspired
To take what we desired
We'll snatch up the best
No fear of arrest
Living in a looter's wonderland

On the corner we see a policeman
And we laugh to see the b*stard frown
We throw lots of stuff at the policeman
Hit him in the head and knock him down

When it snows
And it's drifting
We will still be shoplifting
We'll grab what we may, and haul it away
Cavorting in a looter's wonderland

A bountiful night
Al* says it's all right
Living in a looter's wonderland
*Al Sharpton.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
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 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

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Melissa Harris-Perry - December 10, 2014 - Report this comment
"But it wasn't VIOLENCE!"
Max Power - December 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Same thought exactly, here's the $555 I looted from the store.
Barry J. Mitchel - December 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Excellent pacing and even kept the original rhyme scheme in many lines. Those looters were following the example set by Michael Brown, who now looks like a petty thief compared to them. He had only one accomplice and paid the ultimate penalty; they relied on safety in numbers and got away unpunished. Was that the "justice" the rioters sought?
Jonathan - December 10, 2014 - Report this comment
now this is what I call Black Comedy! 5's
W.E.B. DuBois - December 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Al Sharpton is pro-looting? That's news to me. Would you provide a source, please? Jesse Jackson turns a blind eye to looting because of the legacy of slavery? I didn't know that. But I'm glad that you think looting is an abomination. So do I. But that's like being in favor of motherhood. Can you work up some perspiration about torture of alleged terrorists? I mean sleep deprivation for more than a week, being locked in a coffin for days, solitary confinement for 3 1/2 years with no sensory input, "rectal feeding," etc. Either pro (like Saxby Chambliss) or con (like John McCain) would be entertaining.
Patrick - December 10, 2014 - Report this comment
The Kansas City TV news stations carried the first night of burning and pillaging live. What irritated me was that the reporters continued to refer to the mob as "protesters". No, they were rioters. A protester verbalizes a grievance before the authorities or to the general public in order to gain sympathy and and redress. Burning the business district of Ferguson, Missouri simply reinforces the stereotype that the "protesters" claim led to the death of Michael Brown. As for Eric Garner, that was inexcusable. I had not heard of the practice of selling loose cigarettes on the street until a few months ago when a non-smoking friend of mine came upon a collection of cigarette packs. He kept a few of the exotic brands and sold the rest to a man who retailed them one at a time on the street in downtown Kansas City, Missouri. As far as I know, the KC MO police did not strangle him to death over a petty economic "crime". Garner's death reinforces my negative stereotypes of New York City and its infamously corrupt police. Glad you all liked my parody. I would change "Wal Mart" to "Quik Trip" and "lots of things" to "sticks and stones". If you plan to record this (ha! ha!) please take note.
Patrick - December 10, 2014 - Report this comment
Looters look to so-called "leaders" for justification for their actions. The views expressed concerning Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are unthinking stereotypes, just like the views of the "protesters" concerning the police, and the police of the Black community. Stereotypes are shortcuts to avoid deep thinking. As for the torture of terror suspects, that is a slightly different topic, though it would not be hard to link police brutality and CIA abuses to a larger pattern of government violence. If you have a suitable melody, you are welcome to tackle the subject, and I hope to see what you have to say on this W.E.B. site.

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