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Song Parodies -> "Female Silence"

Original Song Title:

"Love and Marriage"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"Female Silence"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Some people don't know when to stop their loquaciousness, their talkativeness, their verboseness, their wordiness, their garrulousness... (Editorial Break: Or their litanies). Those people are usually women.
Female silence, female silence
It's as rare as gold or Amish violence
This I tell you brother
They can't stop yap with one another

When they mingle, when they mingle
They get so high you'll see their eyeballs tingle
They have logorrhea
They think that is a panacea

Young, young, young ones are the worst kind
while on a cell phone
Get, get, get a piece of intertwined
mind from the talk zone

Female silence, female silence
It's as rare as taxmen making new friends
Passion, cash and fashion
Without compassion get their ration

Yap! Yap! Yap! Can they shut up? No!
That's an illusion
Try, try, try to break it up, they'll go
into seclusion

When they mingle, when they mingle
It's like a hen house / white noise / blah-blah jingle
Dad went deaf by mother
It's not rehearsed
We men are cursed
I sometimes wonder why we bother

Good Night!


© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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AFW - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Guess we both jumped on the same ship, today....I agree with your female filosophy, here..excellently executed..
Tommy Turtle - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
You should get a turtle instead of a woman!. (Turtles have no voice, but their transcribers get a bit wordy at times lol).. "rare as taxmen making new friends" and the rest of that verse; also "Dad went deaf by mother" two of many great lines. 555, LOL funny.
BTW Peter, that ABBA parody I promised you three weeks ago is on the front burner for tomorrow... I think.
alvin rhodes - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
wondrous wordplay
Dee Range - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
A gem , start to finish. I can really relate. I have a sister, a niece, and a niece in law that could out talk anybody else in the world, except themselves. When the three of them get together, the noise level keeps rising like flood water, as each tries to dominate the conversation. When they come to the house to see my ill sister, I actually put on earphones, but they barely make a dent in the decible level. High 5's Peter. One of your best
Stuart McArthur - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
hmm, no female commenters, as yet, Peter? - LOL - loved "hen house / white noise / blah-blah" (er, no I didn't, gals) - 555
Rick C - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Hey, I'm an expert on this subject. I have a wife and 3 daughters. At one point,even the dog was a female. I nicknamed my house "Estrogen Estates". The toilet seat was down so much, I gave it Prozac! At my house PMS means "Pray for My Sanity". OK, I'm done now. Great job with this, Peter. 555
Johnny D - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Peter, you've DEFINITELY been spending too much time too close to the Aurora-Boring Alice!
Red Ant - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Great work here, and you didn't go on and on about it lol. I agree with Dee, this is one of your best, and though it is too early to say for sure, this could do well in SOTM. 5s.
Lorena Bobbit - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Come here dearies!!! TIME TO CUT OFF YOUR PENISEEEES!
Larry Hensley - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny stuff
Phil Alexander - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
I think you ought to see if you can find "On again! On again!" by Jake Thackray - you'll love it. There are lyrics here: lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/o/onagainonagain.shtml (but they don't really do justice to a marvellous song)
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
AFW: On this subject we’re all ”blues brothers”.

Tommy Turtle: I hear that female turtles can be quite a shell shock.

Alvin: If only it always were...

Dee Range: ”…dominate the conversation”, I’ve known women who alone WERE the conversation.

Stuart McArthur: I’m guessing the title put it far below first choice of the day for them.

Rick C: I’m the first and still only guy at my workplace so whenever some other woman asks me what it’s like I tell them that I keep forgetting about our abnormal toilets where the seats are always down, that pretty much kills the(ir) conversation... for several seconds.

Johnny D: This winter it’s been so bad up here that we’ve been praying for the ozone hole to expand faster.

Red Ant: I don’t know, maybe. I have to think about that, it’s probably too short, and I have a parody about taxes in the works that I have in mind for the next round, but I guess I can put the IRS on hold until May. And to tie-in with your comment, it might be a point in itself that I don’t go on and on about the subject.

Lorena Bobbit: You know, those are our external counter weight vocal cords, without them we’d be able to outtalk you, and boy (I mean girl) wouldn’t that make you feel castrated!!?

Larry Hensley: Thanx!

Phil Alexander: You’re right, great lyrics, and though I’ve never heard of the guy I can see that my online CD-dealer has his Best Of (with more than 20 songs) available for less than 5 £. Who cares about paying taxes anyway? :-)
Arwen - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
It's kind of funny how all of your commenters (minus Ms. Bobbit) are men, K1...=) I think all of us women are busy talking about how mad we are at you...
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Dear Arwen, to be on the safe side carmatically I'm planning to make a take on a very old and very popular (especially among women) fairytale my next parody, and I’m fairly sure U2 will like it. :-)
Phil Alexander - April 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Strongly recommend the Best Of Jake at that sort of price: I paid £8 for mine :-) He ain't all that famous any more, but was well-known for a rather risqué repertoire a few decades ago.
Chris Bodily TM - May 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) It does seem as though women abuse their privilige of having a mouth, especially the younger women -- no offense to talkative women.I liked that line about the Amish violence and the "deaf by Mother" especially. 555
Agrimorfee - May 05, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) There is an occasional Female Silence that is even worse than when they are talkative. (HE: "What did I do wrong NOW?" SHE: "i DON'T want to talk about it!"...followed by hours of SILENCE) :0
Cat - May 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Pfffft. At least we don't speak in GRUNTS. Ah well, I may be a bit on the chatty side, but there are plenty more male habits that are good parody fodder...like irrational behavior! (see my parody "Don't Ask Me Why" for details =D)
Rex - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) LOL, but I know why we bother. It's because women can cook and iron and vacuum... (oh boy, am I in trouble now).
Scathe - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I've witnessed some chatty behavior before, and it is not gender specific, believe me. This was funny though.
Matthias - May 12, 2006 - Report this comment
The Amish Violence line got me from the get-go the whole thing was pure genious!!!! Frankie would be proud... Them crazy skirts can't shut their traps 5's
bobpiecheese - May 18, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Grunts, you say, Cat? Irrational behaviour? I spend a lot of time with people of both genders (with school and whatnot), and I can tell you, the worst thing I've seen a guy do is constantly cheat off me, as I happen to be a smart cookie :). The girls, on the other hand, don't talk THAT much...most of them don't, anway. Some go too far and interrupt the teacher. Back on track, nice parody.
Max Power - May 20, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Best one this month!
Rick C - May 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. I can relate.
Red Ant - May 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Johnny D - May 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) How's that cosmic ray tan coming along? I've got my ion you.
Stuart McArthur - May 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) what a coincidence - I've just retreated to my computer to escape the "hen house / white noise / blah-blah jingle" of downstairs - nice one Pete - see above
Larry Hensley - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Arwen - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...I liked this even more the second time around, K1...it's just fabulous. I see a little bit too much of myself in there...and you KNOW how I love it when people write parodies about me...; )
wannabemustangjockey - May 31, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "Female silence / Amish violence" is my favorite line. Very nice job.

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