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Song Parodies -> "Sexless Marriage"
Original Song Title:
"Love and Marriage"
Original Performer:
Frank Sinatra
Parody Song Title:
"Sexless Marriage"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
A few reasons...
Sexless marriage, sexless marriage,
Used to get some, then she miscarried
No faith in becoming a mother, so I guess I won't becoming a father!
Sexless marriage, sexless marriage,
Loss of interest since she became a fatty
Too much food she got heavy, rolls of fat and quite sweaty!
Try, try, try to reignite them, but no passion
Try, try, try and still no action:
(Chorus)
Sexless marriage, sexless marriage,
No motivation is really scary
Once two were lovers, now nothing's happening under the covers!
[Not in the mood]
Try, try, try to reignite them, but no passion
Try, try, try and still no action:
Sexless marriage, sexless marriage,
No private time to sexually manage
No privacy is another, family kills the romance which gets smothered!
But age is the ultimate sex killer...
Used to get some, then she miscarried
No faith in becoming a mother, so I guess I won't becoming a father!
Sexless marriage, sexless marriage,
Loss of interest since she became a fatty
Too much food she got heavy, rolls of fat and quite sweaty!
Try, try, try to reignite them, but no passion
Try, try, try and still no action:
(Chorus)
Sexless marriage, sexless marriage,
No motivation is really scary
Once two were lovers, now nothing's happening under the covers!
[Not in the mood]
Try, try, try to reignite them, but no passion
Try, try, try and still no action:
Sexless marriage, sexless marriage,
No private time to sexually manage
No privacy is another, family kills the romance which gets smothered!
But age is the ultimate sex killer...
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User Comments
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Nothing here that pacing, humor and rhyme can't fix. Topic has possibilities but, unfortunately, execution requires talent.
she wasn't eating a super combo?
I had a girlfriend who confided that she hadn't had sex in years. I asked her why and she said it was because she got fat. I told her to join a gym with me and within six months she got back down to a size 3. Her husband still wouldn't touch her. He came home one day and just blurted out that he was gay! The entire time of their marriage and even though they had a baby girl! I couldn't believe it. The man was a church- going Pentecostal! Talk about your hypocrisy! I was naturally dumbfounded.
And yet I just read on another thread that "a woman cannot teach nor hold spiritual authority over any man due to Eve's deception." How does that make you feel?
Brenda, does it make you feel like you've been thrown under the bus?
1 Timothy 2:8-15:
(8 I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. (9)I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, (10)but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (11)A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. (12)I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. (13)For Adam was formed first, then Eve. (14)And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. (15)But women will be kept safe through childbirth, if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.
(8 I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. (9)I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, (10)but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (11)A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. (12)I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. (13)For Adam was formed first, then Eve. (14)And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. (15)But women will be kept safe through childbirth, if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.
I never cared for the man. I knew something was wrong long before he came out. As for biblical truths, I guess some of us Christian people can agree to disagree.
I don't mean to pry, but what do you mean when you write "I never cared for the man. I knew something was wrong long before he came out."? Was there something about his behavior – a certain flamboyance, a lisp, an enthusiasm for musical theater or interior decoration...? Did he wear a dress or lipstick? I mean, for all you knew prior to his coming-out he was just a regular church-going guy with a kid and a fat wife. So what did you see in him that you knew was wrong?
He lacked the self-righteousness of a Pentecostal and was always nervous. His conversations we're minimal at best. Never showed much affection. He just gave off a weird vibe. Women pick that stuff up. But my friend assumed the role of submissive housewife and mother.
Thank you.
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