General Custer said no, to guns of Gatling that day
Turned out he could have used quite a lot..
Was confident and breezy, he thought easy, the prey
But as it turned out, they were not

Montana ain't mellow
To Gen'rals flashin' yellow
Should have ridden up north to Nome
Could have sure used a Hummer,
No blonde move ever dumber,
Custer should have kept his hair at home

Sioux barbers give bad haircuts,
Too many nicks and spare cuts,
You can't fix with mercurochrome..
Attacked by tribe, Lakota,
Became their monthly quota
Custer should have kept his hair at home

Hair at home, hair at home,
Custer could have kept his hair at home

Fought one nasty battle
For buffalo, not cattle
Braves made sure George would need no comb
Guns and rifles were poppin'
And tomahawks were choppin'
They all died, every man,
In chief's hand,
The last strand
Custer should have kept his hair at home

Old George sure was daring
But he turned into herring,
Were no victory bugles to blare..
"U.S. Cavs" defense blundered,
Won, Redskins, by two hundred
Custer should have kept at home, his hair

They fought hard, our fellers,
Against those teepee dwellers
But they lost..and their widows wept..
Gen'ral died with his wig torn,
Beside the Little Big Horn
Custer should have, at home, his hair, kept

His hair, kept..his hair, kept,
Custer should have, at home, his hair, kept

When no longer hairy,
The bad news would soon carry
And some poet would write a poem..
Though George was a hero
Survivors, there were zero,
Should have thought, maybe not..
Planned a lot
Better plot..
Custer should have kept his hair at home

Rode out on a Sunday,
Hit bad luck on a Monday
Now, just wind whistles through the brome
Hist'ry Americana,
His downfall in Mon-TAH-na
Diff'rent ending, it would
Have had..could...
Have been good,
Custer should have kept his hair at home