Gotta make sure no-one lives through this
Wait, hang on, wait, hang on, wait, hang on, revise, yeah

Don't want some hero to run through easily
Save the princess and go and enjoy their victory
I want him to know that that's way out of their reach
And one further step will make their league want the receipt
Squash him into goo, roast him like a nasty joke
Fit some tiles with springs and watch the little pissant go (uh, uh, uh)
Into or through the roof? I don't know (uh, uh, uh)
I'm fine either way so let me know (uh, uh, uh)
How long 'til you've set the traps in?
We can't have a single space without one crammed in
My spies say the hero barely takes damage
So we need to boost the "ouch" in ev'ry section, brrt
Anything that might cause pain
Physical? Psychological? All's game
I'm talkin' huge hammers that are covered with names
Of people that this pain-in-the-neck couldn't save
Get the wizard in this, make a bottomless pit (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez
One that senses when he quits searchin' for exits (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
And then teleport the big prick to the start of this (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
And it's gonna drive him crazy because he will find (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
It's all reset, I wanna drain his will dry (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
That or outright kill him, that outcome is still fine (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Wait, hang on, what's this? Hate its ill vibes (yeah) (geez, just what I want is how y'all get paid)

Hell no, throw that out the door, nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap)
'Cause I don't like that crap, no, nix the spike trap (yeah)
I loathe that thing, you should know, nix the spike trap (yeah)
I'm sure I wrote that down, so nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap)
Ev'ry hero killer except spike traps (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Shouldn't be a problem, nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Stop the "but, but" twaddle, nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Geez, just what I want is how y'all get paid

You got a problem with my request?
Don't be the moron runnin' your mouth, that's how I end up tearin' up checks
Ayy, ayy, what I say goes, you get me? Go back through your blueprints
And find ev'ry section made with a part that's spikey, write in "Fix"
I mean, ah, know it may come off hyperbolic
Ah, but I've got lines, won't cross 'em, even violence
Can handle hammer thumps, cattle grid slices, both ex- and implosions (mmm)
But I just upchuck at any pokey bits, won't have 'em chosen, nix 'em
Ah, yeah, huh, yeah, don't wanna see
Sharp sticks stickin', so far from super, gonna need way more than stitches
Toss that out, don't want that, I hope I don't have to sack you
And I mean I'll squeeze your bloated frame inside a bag, you big putz
You're still really that stuck on the "why?" Okay
There is a real reason for this, could just be in my brain
It's not the way they're insertin' inside the flesh that gets me
It's the aftermath, see all the spikes now unclean? Friggin' yuck
What? I don't like spike traps (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
'Cause the cleanup there is quite bad, just a huge waste of time, man, friggin' yuck (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
And if I don't want him buried (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Then that's even more lost time fixin' him up for all to see (yeah), friggin' yuck (geez, just what I want is how y'all get paid)

I don't want that in the floor, nix the spike trap (nix the (yah) spike trap (yah))
'Cause I don't like that crap, no, nix the spike trap (now, yeah)
Straight loathe those things, you should know, nix the spike trap (I don't want 'em, I don't want 'em, yeah)
I know I wrote that down, so nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap)
Ev'ry way of murder except spike traps (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Doubt that that's a problem, nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Quit the "hang on" twaddle, nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Geez, just what I want is how y'all get paid

I don't get why you just won't nix the spike trap
'Cause you won't earn any gold, nix the spike trap
That's no empty threat or joke, nix the spike trap
I will withhold what you're owed, nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap)
I'm the one in charge, so nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Sure, it might seem picky, nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
But that's not your problem, nix the spike trap (nix the spike trap) (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez

I don't wanna go around in circles for hours
The longer we're stalled, the more heroes gain power
Walk in to a half-finished castle since designers
Dug down their heels, thought their shit's good with no data
But they're not right, their interior's worth nada (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
Hundred thousand gold I owe this crap designer (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
I'll say it louder 'til he understands it's a problem (geez, just what I want, geez, just, geez)
'Cause I'd hate to go and spend the diamonds he'll need (geez, just what I want is how y'all get paid)