I Got Plenty of Muffins by Jeff “Dr Chordate” Moran

I got plenty of muffins and muffins are plenty for me.
Got no snack bar, got no gruel, got no mystery.
Folks with plenty of pelmeni, always wanting more.
Afraid they’re gonna starve while the cook is making more. What for?
I got no stomach hunger. That’s no way to live.
I ain’t getting no younger. But I still got stuff to give.
And the things that I prize, like the muffins I buy---all for me.
I got plenty of muffins and muffins are plenty for me.
Got chocolate chip, got cinnamon,
Got pumpkin the whole day long. Even got plain.
Got coffee cake, got monkey bread, got my bran.

I got plenty of muffins and muffins are plenty for me.
Got real lemon with poppyseeds, got blueberry.
Folks with plenty of penne just sit and eat all the way.
Seems with penne you sure got to worry ‘bout dieting all day,
I ain’t fretting ‘bout weight ‘til the doctor arrives,
Never worry on a blind date, never one to jive.
To be skinny, to be fat. Just glad that I’m alive.

Oh, I got plenty of muffins, and muffins are plenty for me.
Got banana nut and raspberry, got red velvet the whole day long.
Even got some plain.
Got oatmeal with raisins.
Got cream cheese.
Got my bran.