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Song Parodies -> "The Major General Watches TV"
Original Song Title:
"I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General"
Original Performer:
Gilbert and Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"The Major General Watches TV"
Parody Written by:
Brave Brigand Brian
The Lyrics
1. I am the very model of a modern major general
I’ve information tantalising, televised and trivial
I never miss Big Brother and I follow every episode,
The highlights and the sordid bits, each second that they’ve ever showed.
My hero’s Brother Cadfall for his cunning and his piety,
I know the names of everybody seen on Royal Variety,
I worship Simon Cowell, he’s so funny and so debonair,
And long to win a fortune on Who wants to be a Millionaire (repeat)
I value Antiques Roadshow, I can tell when oak is teak I think,
I’d like to hit Anne Robinson and show the world her Weakest Link
But still in matters tantalising, televised and trivial
I am the very model of a modern major general.
2. I can formulate a business plan to win the day on Dragon’s Den
I know which is the scarier, the daleks or the cyber men,
I know the list of doctors, their companions I can fully state,
I’ve travelled in the Tardis and I know how to regenerate.
I can tell apart the Mitchell twins, I know my way round Albert Square,
I sense the breath of happiness when Stacey Slater isn’t there,
I know what type of alcohol drove Hancock to inebriety
And saw them eating kangaroo poo on I’m a celebrity. (repeat)
Then I can solve the crime before Miss Marple or Inspector Morse
Or watch John Sergeant dancing without knowing if he’ll last the course,
But still in matters tantalising, televised and trivial
I am the very model of a modern major general.
3. In short, when I know what is meant by ‘eat my shorts’ and Homer’s ‘D’oh!’,
When lovely Carol Vorderman presents another Countdown show,
When I can tell that Bob the Builder what it is he needs to fix,
When Fifi will forget-me-not and Sponge-bob isn’t up to tricks,
When I can ask the banker first before I say ‘Deal’ or ‘No deal’
When I can teach the men in River Cottage how to cook an eel,
In short, when I’ve a smattering of Sherlock Holmes’ strategy
You’ll say a better Major general has never sat-agee. (repeat)
For my military knowledge, though it’s plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century,
But still in matters tantalising, televised and trivial
I am the very model of a modern major general.
I’ve information tantalising, televised and trivial
I never miss Big Brother and I follow every episode,
The highlights and the sordid bits, each second that they’ve ever showed.
My hero’s Brother Cadfall for his cunning and his piety,
I know the names of everybody seen on Royal Variety,
I worship Simon Cowell, he’s so funny and so debonair,
And long to win a fortune on Who wants to be a Millionaire (repeat)
I value Antiques Roadshow, I can tell when oak is teak I think,
I’d like to hit Anne Robinson and show the world her Weakest Link
But still in matters tantalising, televised and trivial
I am the very model of a modern major general.
2. I can formulate a business plan to win the day on Dragon’s Den
I know which is the scarier, the daleks or the cyber men,
I know the list of doctors, their companions I can fully state,
I’ve travelled in the Tardis and I know how to regenerate.
I can tell apart the Mitchell twins, I know my way round Albert Square,
I sense the breath of happiness when Stacey Slater isn’t there,
I know what type of alcohol drove Hancock to inebriety
And saw them eating kangaroo poo on I’m a celebrity. (repeat)
Then I can solve the crime before Miss Marple or Inspector Morse
Or watch John Sergeant dancing without knowing if he’ll last the course,
But still in matters tantalising, televised and trivial
I am the very model of a modern major general.
3. In short, when I know what is meant by ‘eat my shorts’ and Homer’s ‘D’oh!’,
When lovely Carol Vorderman presents another Countdown show,
When I can tell that Bob the Builder what it is he needs to fix,
When Fifi will forget-me-not and Sponge-bob isn’t up to tricks,
When I can ask the banker first before I say ‘Deal’ or ‘No deal’
When I can teach the men in River Cottage how to cook an eel,
In short, when I’ve a smattering of Sherlock Holmes’ strategy
You’ll say a better Major general has never sat-agee. (repeat)
For my military knowledge, though it’s plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century,
But still in matters tantalising, televised and trivial
I am the very model of a modern major general.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 10 | 10 | 10 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
wow ! ..great stuff...the pacing and the rhymes were impeccable...and i love all the different shows you manged to stick in...looking forward to reading more of your work
I've tackled this tune a few times, so I appreciate the effort involved in doing so. And what Alvin said.
And I thought I watched too much TV - well done!
As another multi-MMG tackler, I enjoyed this.. especially with what you'd like to do to Ann Robinson :-)
Very good..follows the mood of the original, but adds a modern electronic theme touch..
Almost never watch TV, so most of the refs were meaningless, but great job for a new writer. Tip: (repeat) = lazy. Write out a chorus and vary it each time so you can work in more gags. (No, not gonna plug my stab at it - you can find that and many others, some of excellent quality, using the search tools here). 555, and welcome to AmIRight!
What Alvin said. 556
Truly lexelente, mi Hen-er-al!
Thanks for all the positive comments! I know that using the same ending couplet is lazy, but this song was actually written for a theatrical performance, and I knew the guy playing the part would struggle to learn the words, so I kept it a bit simpler. In the end we changed his character entirely and I had to write another version for a beauty therapist! I'll put that up at some point...
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