I am the very model of a fan-girl who has lost her mind
Show me the pictures of the star I love, and I am in a bind
They dangle 'fore my eyes, and like a child with a shiny toy
Nothing else I see except the charming smile of that boy

I've been like this ever since I realized that I had estrogen,
With each new movie (or new book) it repeats all over again
First happy, then the sighing and the crying that it can't be real
Then evil plotting of how the actor who plays him I will steal

My folks are truly somewhat freaked, they hope each time is just a phase
That my glazed eyes and screams of joy resolve themselves within two days
Unfortunately to their wishes I have to be less than kind
'Cause I'm the very model of a fan-girl who has lost her mind

First Welling (Tom), then Rosenbaum, on Smallville they were my downfall
(Don't even know how I got started watching that show after all)
Changed over my allegiance to RPattz when I saw HP4
And then for years, I never seemed to see that cute face anymore

So I moved on, Friday Night Lights was really a much better fit
Besides, there were much fewer fans, I could truly lay claim on it
That is to say, on Jason Street (and Tim Riggins especially!)
Then I decided that I would be Mrs. Riggins (yet-to-be)

So this went on about three years, with much sighing and crying too
I always thought "It's just this show, the actors only play it true"
But it was not their acting skills that needed me my head to find
I'd become the model of the fan-girl who had lost her mind

And then the kicker, this is rich, it came back to RPattz again
Although this time he decided he wants to be called Spunk Ransom
A little project, "Twilight", and I must admit I didn't know
This book, I read it in one night the copy that I'd just borrowed

The point is it's always the same no matter what I do to cope
Whether it's letter writing or relying on some silly hope
That if we should meet, he would absolutely fall in love with me
That is, of course, if he ever again wants a live family!

Come on Doc, don't want my shot, just let me say this one last line
You've always asked what happens when I am with others of my kind
The Twilighters and I have a consensus, then the song is done
We're just doing what we love, besides, obsession's kind of fun!!!!