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Song Parodies -> "If You Want A Receipt For That Modern Anomaly"
Original Song Title:
"If You Want A Receipt For That Popular Mystery"
Original Performer:
Gilbert and Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"If You Want A Receipt For That Modern Anomaly"
Parody Written by:
Andy Senior (aka The Carpal Tunnel Kid)
The Lyrics
Here's another go at a G & S patter song, the Heavy Dragoon number from "Patience." Again, this is political--a gentle slam at my Republican friends (who are more than welcome to respond in kind).
If you want a receipt for that modern anomaly
Known to the world as a GOP goon,
Take all right-wing pundits who rant on so balmily,
Rattle them off to a Sullivan tune.
The guile of Bob Novak unmasking poor Valerie–
Chutzpah of Limbaugh on six Percodan–
The rashness of Bennett high-rolling his salary–
Grace of Ann Coulter de-balling a man–
The ethics of Raspberry's small honoraria–
Logic of Kristol's "New Century" plan–
The horse-sense of Krauthammer's pro-war hysteria–
"Culture of Life" that would level Iran–
The deep intellect of broadcaster Sean Hannity–
Generous nature of Norquist's humanity–
William F. Buckley and Doc Laura Schlesinger–
Reverend James Dobson (who's God's only messenger)--
Ingraham and Gallagher–Thomas DeLay–
Gannon or Guckert (whoever's less gay)!
Take of these elements what's least defensible,
Mash them and blend them "til fully insensible,
Boil off the liquid and leave just the scum,
And a GOP goon is the residuum!
CHORUS:
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
A GOP goon is the residuum!
- - -
If you want a receipt for this parroting hooligan,
Add the Grand Dragon addressing the Klan–
The middle-class lemmings Bush managed to fool again–
Ashcroft deciding what next he should ban–
A six-week-old infant all squalling and colicky–
Charm of Bob Dole when deprived of his bran–
The Powell UN speech (which now proves so bollocky)--
Randian dabbling of Alan Greenspan–
The bold machinations of Rove or Lee Atwater–
Money of Coors (whose light beer tastes like flat water)--
Mem'ry of Reagan–Podhoretz, a touch of him–
Joseph McCarthy (a little too much of him)--
Lynne Cheney's "Sisters"–the art of Kincaide–
All True Believers who drink the Kool-Aid!
Meld all these items with utmost agility,
Taking account of their great volatility,
Boil down the mixture and leave just the scum,
And a GOP goon is the residuum!
CHORUS:
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
A GOP goon is the residuum!
Known to the world as a GOP goon,
Take all right-wing pundits who rant on so balmily,
Rattle them off to a Sullivan tune.
The guile of Bob Novak unmasking poor Valerie–
Chutzpah of Limbaugh on six Percodan–
The rashness of Bennett high-rolling his salary–
Grace of Ann Coulter de-balling a man–
The ethics of Raspberry's small honoraria–
Logic of Kristol's "New Century" plan–
The horse-sense of Krauthammer's pro-war hysteria–
"Culture of Life" that would level Iran–
The deep intellect of broadcaster Sean Hannity–
Generous nature of Norquist's humanity–
William F. Buckley and Doc Laura Schlesinger–
Reverend James Dobson (who's God's only messenger)--
Ingraham and Gallagher–Thomas DeLay–
Gannon or Guckert (whoever's less gay)!
Take of these elements what's least defensible,
Mash them and blend them "til fully insensible,
Boil off the liquid and leave just the scum,
And a GOP goon is the residuum!
CHORUS:
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
A GOP goon is the residuum!
- - -
If you want a receipt for this parroting hooligan,
Add the Grand Dragon addressing the Klan–
The middle-class lemmings Bush managed to fool again–
Ashcroft deciding what next he should ban–
A six-week-old infant all squalling and colicky–
Charm of Bob Dole when deprived of his bran–
The Powell UN speech (which now proves so bollocky)--
Randian dabbling of Alan Greenspan–
The bold machinations of Rove or Lee Atwater–
Money of Coors (whose light beer tastes like flat water)--
Mem'ry of Reagan–Podhoretz, a touch of him–
Joseph McCarthy (a little too much of him)--
Lynne Cheney's "Sisters"–the art of Kincaide–
All True Believers who drink the Kool-Aid!
Meld all these items with utmost agility,
Taking account of their great volatility,
Boil down the mixture and leave just the scum,
And a GOP goon is the residuum!
CHORUS:
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
A GOP goon is the residuum!
Copyright 2005 Andy Senior The Carpal Tunnel Kid Rides Again!
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I made a grievous error with regard to the identity of the columnist who was on the GOP payroll. It was Armstrong Williams, not Mr. Raspberry. Since the name of the actual culprit doesn't scan, substitute "Gallagher" (another paid pundit) in that line. And so as to not repeat, I've changed the line "Ingraham and Gallagher" to "Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz." Thus altered (as it is on my blog) the whole thing is somewhat salvaged. Mea culpa.
wow, this is very good. I really like "Joseph McCarthy - a little too much of him" especially :)
This is simply brilliant! WS Gilbert would tip his hat to you.
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