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Song Parodies -> "Modern Monologue (scene ii): The Play's A Sting"
Original Song Title:
"The Major General's Song"
Original Performer:
Gilbert and Sullivan's "Pirates of Penzance"
Parody Song Title:
"Modern Monologue (scene ii): The Play's A Sting"
Parody Written by:
Giorgio Coniglio
The Lyrics
(MajGen Stanley)
As proudly demonstrated in my proof-of-concept parody *,
Iambic harmonizing with Will Shakespeare’s lines has meritry
For modern adaptations, costumed uniformly or bespoke,
And at your local bar for Open-Mike or tokey karaok’.
To cite just one example from a spectacle eponymous,
Protagonizing recitation of his pond’rings ominous
Gives Hamlet back-row status, when upstaged by old Polonius
Who’s scatting catchy melodies by Brubeck and Thelonius.
(Hamlet)
So now I am alone. O what a rogue and peasant slave I am !
Is it not monstrous that this player here got Heckie in a jam ?
He feigns tears in his eyes, a broken voice and passioned sympathy,
Full-knowing that she’s going to pursue him for paternity.
Yet I, unpregnant of my cause, a muddy-mettled rascal, peak,
And I say nothing when my throat is burned or when my nose is tweaked;
Amazed indeed the very faculties of Eyes and ENT –
I protest not defeat of most dear life and royal property.
I, prompted to revenge with both the motive and my passion’s cues
Should far out-kvetch the actor cleaving ears with his Hecuba-blues,
And so I fall a-cursing, but keep watch for ghost-like devils loose –
Unpack my heart with words about the square of the hypotenuse !
I’ve heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have been soul-struck
By very cunning scenes, so un-tongued malefactions get unstuck;
I’ll have these players voice their prose and check after the mustering
If C. should blench or leave to pee on viewing bros’ ghost-bustering.
The seating for such theatre-shorts and photo-ops we should confirm,
With front-row tickets organized by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
With such a crazy family I’ll have grounds more relative than bunk;
The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of my sleazy Unc.
(Chorus)
Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:
The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.
(MajGen Stanley)
The Prince’s many solos in this play when spoke sound tedious;
We now anticipate to hear them crooned – but hold off, greedy us !
I might insert some trios trilled by Gertrude, Ghost and Claudius,
With scoring, although borrowed, quite encoring and applaudious.
Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog, this plugged-up conduit I’ve unclogged,
My sing-along soliloquy’s the Modern Hamlet Monologue.
(Chorus)
So now, we’ll enter in our log, we’ve kissed the lips of Prince and Frog **,
Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog the Modern Hamlet Monologue.
As proudly demonstrated in my proof-of-concept parody *,
Iambic harmonizing with Will Shakespeare’s lines has meritry
For modern adaptations, costumed uniformly or bespoke,
And at your local bar for Open-Mike or tokey karaok’.
To cite just one example from a spectacle eponymous,
Protagonizing recitation of his pond’rings ominous
Gives Hamlet back-row status, when upstaged by old Polonius
Who’s scatting catchy melodies by Brubeck and Thelonius.
(Hamlet)
So now I am alone. O what a rogue and peasant slave I am !
Is it not monstrous that this player here got Heckie in a jam ?
He feigns tears in his eyes, a broken voice and passioned sympathy,
Full-knowing that she’s going to pursue him for paternity.
Yet I, unpregnant of my cause, a muddy-mettled rascal, peak,
And I say nothing when my throat is burned or when my nose is tweaked;
Amazed indeed the very faculties of Eyes and ENT –
I protest not defeat of most dear life and royal property.
I, prompted to revenge with both the motive and my passion’s cues
Should far out-kvetch the actor cleaving ears with his Hecuba-blues,
And so I fall a-cursing, but keep watch for ghost-like devils loose –
Unpack my heart with words about the square of the hypotenuse !
I’ve heard that guilty creatures sitting at a play have been soul-struck
By very cunning scenes, so un-tongued malefactions get unstuck;
I’ll have these players voice their prose and check after the mustering
If C. should blench or leave to pee on viewing bros’ ghost-bustering.
The seating for such theatre-shorts and photo-ops we should confirm,
With front-row tickets organized by Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
With such a crazy family I’ll have grounds more relative than bunk;
The play’s the thing wherein I’ll catch the conscience of my sleazy Unc.
(Chorus)
Ear-poison rerun in our skit might irritate a kingly snit:
The play’s a sting wherein we’ll finger Claudius the Illegit.
(MajGen Stanley)
The Prince’s many solos in this play when spoke sound tedious;
We now anticipate to hear them crooned – but hold off, greedy us !
I might insert some trios trilled by Gertrude, Ghost and Claudius,
With scoring, although borrowed, quite encoring and applaudious.
Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog, this plugged-up conduit I’ve unclogged,
My sing-along soliloquy’s the Modern Hamlet Monologue.
(Chorus)
So now, we’ll enter in our log, we’ve kissed the lips of Prince and Frog **,
Let Branagh vocalize whole-hog the Modern Hamlet Monologue.
* The Modern Hamlet Monologue, posted at this site February, 2013. ** A planned but unproduced episode of the Muppet Show was entitled “Kermit, Prince of Denmark”.
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User Comments
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The verse that contained the "tedious/greedy us" and "Claudius/applaudious" couplets was excellent. But the rest of this effort is not really a Major General parody because it has one-syllable, not three-syllable, rhyming.
A most ambitious and complex parody, displaying a vocab range and poetic creativity one would expect from a Shakespeare aficionado.
Perhaps Mr Gilbert's posthumous crit. is correct, and the stresses may be out, but the syllable count seems to be fine, and I found I was able to vocalize this quite smoothly (and with delight). I too especially liked the couplets he/she mentioned, also Polonious/Thelonious and the references to Kenneth Branagh and the Muppets.
You didn't resort to radical neologisms much, nor needed to, but I wondered about a couple of possible malapropisms: 'unpregnant'? I would suggest 'Yet uncognizant of my cause ...' Perhaps 'hokey' rather than 'tokey' (unless you meant a singing dopefest)?
Given the high bar you set yourself and the powerful leap you produced, I think 555s are not generous.
Perhaps Mr Gilbert's posthumous crit. is correct, and the stresses may be out, but the syllable count seems to be fine, and I found I was able to vocalize this quite smoothly (and with delight). I too especially liked the couplets he/she mentioned, also Polonious/Thelonious and the references to Kenneth Branagh and the Muppets.
You didn't resort to radical neologisms much, nor needed to, but I wondered about a couple of possible malapropisms: 'unpregnant'? I would suggest 'Yet uncognizant of my cause ...' Perhaps 'hokey' rather than 'tokey' (unless you meant a singing dopefest)?
Given the high bar you set yourself and the powerful leap you produced, I think 555s are not generous.
@ WSG - ah, on second reading now I see what you meant - not the stresses at all, but the last three sylls of each line. Yes, you have a point, I guess.
Appreciate the posthumous and other comments. MG Stanley didn't persevere with 3-syllable rhyming, I admit. Hamlet was primarily interested in singing his lines with original wording to extent possible; "unpregnant" is an unusual term used by Shakespeare in this context. I didn't dare suggest that the Prince follow the rhyming convention for British naval officers developed 3 centuries later. I note, Mr. Gilbert, that you confined Hamlet to spoken blank verse in "Rosencrantz and Guildernstern"; that was in days prior to collaboration with Sullivan. "Tokey" bars? - around here (Canada) - certainly!.
Giorgio - A playwright of old and modern parody , you are....
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