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Song Parodies -> "The Batman Protocols"
Original Song Title:
"I've Got a Little List"
Original Performer:
Gilbert & Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"The Batman Protocols"
Parody Written by:
Orville Eastland
The Lyrics
This song was (loosely) based on the DC Comics story "Blame", written by Mark Waid, and published in "JLA:Secret Files and Origins #3" (December 2000). All characters used in this song are the property of DC Comics.
Batman:
If someday it should happen that my friends should me betray,
I've got a little list.
I've got a little list
Of the ways I can defeat the members of the JLA.
There's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
Green Lantern will not like it if he can't see anything,
So I will hypnotize him while he wears his Power Ring.
And if the Martian Manhunter to fight me should desire,
I'll just get out my nanoprobes and then set him on fire.
And then I will freeze Plastic Man and shatter him to bits.
There's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
Chorus:
(Talia and Ras's men):
He's got it on the list.
He's got it on the list.
And there's not a thing he's missed.
There's not a thing he's missed.
Batman:
I'll take a Mother Box and Boom Tube Scott and Barda Free
Back to New Genesis.
I've got it on the list.
And I'll maroon Green Arrow on an island in the sea.
There's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
If any of the speedsters soon to fight me feels a need,
This bullet hits their spine and gives them seizures at lightspeed.
And with this muscular toxin you shouldn't place your bets
On me being defeated by the girls who wear fishnets.
If I were to reveal this I'd be booed and I'd be hissed.
But there's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
Chorus
Batman:
And I can jam Steel's hammer and then send it back at him.
And I'm not going to miss.
I've got it on the list.
So what, do you think that I have just done all this on a whim?
There's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
I can take over Atom's belt and them force him to shrink.
And make Arthur scared of water, so he is afraid to drink.
I can trap Wonder Woman in a never-ending fight...
And when it comes to Superman...I'll use Red Kryptonite.
I've got a lot more plans and this stuff here is just the gist.
But there's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed!
Chorus
If someday it should happen that my friends should me betray,
I've got a little list.
I've got a little list
Of the ways I can defeat the members of the JLA.
There's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
Green Lantern will not like it if he can't see anything,
So I will hypnotize him while he wears his Power Ring.
And if the Martian Manhunter to fight me should desire,
I'll just get out my nanoprobes and then set him on fire.
And then I will freeze Plastic Man and shatter him to bits.
There's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
Chorus:
(Talia and Ras's men):
He's got it on the list.
He's got it on the list.
And there's not a thing he's missed.
There's not a thing he's missed.
Batman:
I'll take a Mother Box and Boom Tube Scott and Barda Free
Back to New Genesis.
I've got it on the list.
And I'll maroon Green Arrow on an island in the sea.
There's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
If any of the speedsters soon to fight me feels a need,
This bullet hits their spine and gives them seizures at lightspeed.
And with this muscular toxin you shouldn't place your bets
On me being defeated by the girls who wear fishnets.
If I were to reveal this I'd be booed and I'd be hissed.
But there's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
Chorus
Batman:
And I can jam Steel's hammer and then send it back at him.
And I'm not going to miss.
I've got it on the list.
So what, do you think that I have just done all this on a whim?
There's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed.
I can take over Atom's belt and them force him to shrink.
And make Arthur scared of water, so he is afraid to drink.
I can trap Wonder Woman in a never-ending fight...
And when it comes to Superman...I'll use Red Kryptonite.
I've got a lot more plans and this stuff here is just the gist.
But there's not a thing I've missed.
There's not a thing I've missed!
Chorus
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 4 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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Love it! Great job! (and if Batman should steal Superman's girl, why, they'd have a little tryst, and Supy would be pissed!)
Super title and parody.
Whoo! Bat-tastic.. nah that didn't work... Not bat?.... Bat-ery powered?... that lsat one was dumb... But man this was great, I loved it, 5-5-5
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