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Song Parodies -> "Why Can't You Guys Write Anything But..."

Original Song Title:

"The Major-Modern General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"Why Can't You Guys Write Anything But..."

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

This is a rewrite of my original post, since a lot of you said that there were pacing issues, so I rewrote it to knock you guys one more time.
Why can't you guys write anything but Major-Modern General?
It's a song is as constant as that Green Day, or Av-r-il
There's other things they're singing, I suppose that is rhetorical
From "Simple Plan" to "REM", the music's categorical

An operetta fetish dude? Or simply it's fanatical
It's not on rare occasions, and becoming problematical
Without these local lyrics, I'd be cheering with a lot of booze
But every time I hear Opera, I’m really thinking of the blues

(And repetition lines of speech are putting me into a snooze)
(And repetition lines of speech are putting me into a snooze)
(And repetition lines of speech are putting me into a deeply sleeply snooze)

I’d rather hear some more Beatles, or Hoobastank, or Gorillaz
But I know this song will win the title of the month we lust
In short you guys are vegetables, who have no more material
And thus you go and write this Major-Modern General

(Repeating lines unbearable, terrible, unthinkable
Why can't you guys write anything but Major-Modern General?!)

In all our music history, McArthur to Kris Robertson
Has done this song moronic, and it's starting to get bothersome
I used my "Hooked on Phonics", and the Rhyme Zone just to get to this
I must admit it's tricky, but the sheer amount it leaves me pissed

”Baby Hit Me One More Time” by Britney’s what I’d like to do
Bitch-slap this song that has become as equal as a worn out shoe
Cause my freaking point remains this music has been done before
To summarize my statement it's been done just like that cheaper whore

(As many times as Claire that local twenty-dollar whore)
(As many times as Claire that local twenty-dollar whore)
(As many times as Claire that local twenty-dollar and a quarter whore)

To write this song you need Mad Skillz to make the lyrics go transform
To see find it done extremely well’s like looking for a unicorn
I kid, Most songs are done quite well, but many as a dogpile
Why can't you guys write anything but Major Modern General?

(I kid, Most songs are done quite well, but many as a dogpile
Why can't you guys write anything but Major Modern General?)

It's long, with all of this time spent I feel like I’m ramblin’
Cause I will get no fives, but my point is worth the gamblin’
As much despair as forty mice chased by a big starving cat
Who's choking on a hairball gets hit by Jeep and then goes "Splat!"

The word is out and I await the future from the grand jury
Will this song be continued and then add insult to injury?
Cause if I hear this song again my whole darn town will be bloody
Maybe not, but Major-Modern General is still cruddy

(Oy Vey, The damn repeating lines are so damn repeatingly)
(Oy Vey, The damn repeating lines are so damn repeatingly)
(Oy Vey, The damn repeating lines are so damn repeating-eatingly)

There’s no Amirighting College, but this class I would skip constantly
Because Gilbert and his Sullivan are not the friggen boss of me
Oh crap, I looked at the label, I feel sick and very ill
Oh my God! I just wrote this song to the Major-Modern General!!!

Oh crap, I looked at the label, I feel sick and very ill
Oh my God! I just wrote this song to the Major-Modern General!!!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   11
 11
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ann Hammond - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
d repeating lines he he
McKludge - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
What's next, throwing WotEF under the bus? (sorry, mixed transportation metaphor there). But I'm with ya, I never understood why that particular song is so popular. 555
Michael Pacholek - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
As McKludge (sort of) predicted... The legend lives on from the Army on down of the very modern Major General. Matthias, it's said, is now losing his head, over parodies of this song infernal! See, we can write other stuff.
MasonR - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
I've never parodied Major-General, and I don't plan to. Tom Lehrer still owns it.
Ravyn Rant - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you. Thank you so very much. 555
LadyCupCakes - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
A 5-Star General you be, Sir!
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Well, McKludge, the song has been so overdone because it's one of the "epic 7", akin to the Wonders of Parody World, though they are no longer by any means the hardest songs to parody, they are still a way that parodists prove themselves it seems, Matthias you know how much I love this one. . .We had a lengthy text chat about it yesterday, one of your best.
Peregrin - January 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Good thoughts for an overbearing original, Matthias :)
W. S. Gilbert - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
How can I rest in peace when 21st century "parodists" think so little of the quality of the original song that they think it is acceptable to use non-rhymes such as general and dogpile?
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Well poser, you can start by not posing. . . a parodist job is to TRANSFORM the original, something you can't seem to comprehend, Matthias, you know your piece is great, I'll report his comment here just like I did on mine, imitating someone is NOT allowed on AmIRight, and you should be ashamed of yourself posing as someone who is deceased.
Red Ant - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Gilbert, lighten up a bit, eh? Yes, the triple syllable end lines made the original, but nailing them all isn't completely necessary to make a good parody of it. Can you site me a single Major-General parody here that nails them *all*? Besides, there is no denying this song has been done to death here, a crime of which I, myself, am guilty of (oh dear, I ended that sentence with a preposition...).

Nice re-job, Matt, and I, for one, can assure you I will not being making any more parodies of the Major-General's Song. I'm going for new territory now, so look for a "Complicated" parody from me in the near future, heh heh.
W.S. Gilbert - January 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Red Ant, I was surprised and disappointed to find that you are mostly correct. Out of approximately 100 entries that claim to be parodies of my “Major-General’s Song,” only http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan45.shtml by Spaff.com, and maybe one or two others, successfully maintain trisyllabic rhyming all the way through. So, if your point is that I should be less critical of Below Average Dave or more critical of all of the other alleged parodists, your point is well taken. I still think it is unfortunate that Below Average Dave’s brilliant concept of matching the seven deadly sins to the Big 7 original songs was not better executed, but I have been rebuked and I will return to my grave.
Jason - July 12, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABCW) Excellent!
Agrimorfee - July 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) Excellent indeed! (the "dogpile" rhyme attempt I can live with but "The damn repeating lines are so damn repeatingly" sent me scurrying...)
Max Power - July 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Indeed
Guy - July 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4W)

This line caught me completely off guard:

"Because Gilbert and his Sullivan are not the friggen boss of me"

This one line definately has the author's signature stamped onto it. I too am guilty of doing one of these myself - but just one mind you and that was back around March of 2005. Laws may be changed because of your parody. I could see the day coming when anyone who wishes to parody this OS must register for a permit with the Department of redundancy Department. Excellent write - repeat - excellent write.
Stuart McArthur - July 22, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) nice idea Matty, and thanks for the inclusion! - rollicked along quite well, although there were a few stumbles, like rhyming "a dogpile" with General - definitely a 555 though
bobpiecheese - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4-W) I myself am guilty of parodying Major General, but it kinda sucked, so I don't count it. A few pacing quibbles, but a point well made.
Below Average Dave - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
See Above, one thing I like about ABC is that I have usually read 90% of the entries, and since I have only been in competition since 2006, I remember the big ones very well:)
Invisible Boy - July 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Congrats on taking-on this Epic. I've yet to examine the OS, so I can't comment on the technical correctness here. I do know that the line Guy sited made me laugh as well.

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