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Song Parodies -> "Jesus Christ Is Comin' to Town"

Original Song Title:

"Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town"

Original Performer:

Gillespie & Coots

Parody Song Title:

"Jesus Christ Is Comin' to Town"

Parody Written by:

A Room Full Of Monkeys

The Lyrics

You better watch out
You better not sin
You better not fudge your taxes again
Jesus Christ is comin' to town

He's tearin' down walls
And shootin' out flames
Kickin' bad butts and takin' bad names
Jesus Christ is comin' to town

He sees you when you're drinking
He knows when you chase tail
He knows you've checked out online porn -
Better pack your bags for Hell!

Oh!
You better not be
A liberal or queer
Apocalyptarmageddon is here
Jesus Christ is comin' to town

He knows if you are Muslim
Or Buddhist, Jew, or Sikh
He knows if you've sought heathen gods
And if so, you're up shit creek!

So!
You better not get
A lump of char-coal
'Cause baby that's charred remains of your soul
Jesus Christ is comin'
TO
TOWN!
Go sing this on the doorsteps of all the heathens in your neighborhood. They'll appreciate it.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 0
 
 5   11
 10
 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Steve K. - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I once saw a button which said, "He knows whom you've been sleeping with", so I came up with "He knows what you've been drinking, so put that bottle down, He knows whom you've been sleeping with, so stop fooling around". Unlike you, however, I couldn't come up with a whole parody.
alvin rhodes - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
mind blowingly good....fives plus
Kristof Robertson - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh no!! Chrischunz Wiv Attytood!!!! 555 here, simians....
Claude Prez - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff-tastic.
Jessie Christ - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked apocaltargeddon -- it works real good with pacing.
Ashkicksasss - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
AWESOME! I love this!
Phil Alexander - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I wonder, is that when the apocalyptarmigan bird flies? Brilliant... and I'd have said it was a Prez original, if he hadn't commented already ;-)
Hell in a Handbasket - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Is exactly where you're going. Sinner.

(Tee hee!)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Sequels are always worse. 5s
Just One of the Monkeys - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Stevel Knievel & Scholar Rhodes & Christoff & C4P & Jessie H.C. & Sister Kicksass & Philbo (that's the ultimate compliment) & Helena & Ralphing Luke. Remember: Jesus saves souls and redeems them for FABULOUS PRIZES. (I stole that.)
Sizzling Hot Chick - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, this is such a coincidence it's almost like you've been going through my trash again, Spaff! I got a Hellegram via Heathen Union, just yesterday, letting me know the VIP suite is reserved for me and the damned are anxiously awaiting my arrival down there.

By the by, the rapture has already happened. One virtuous little old bag-lady disappeared about 12 years ago and nobody noticed because she wasn't important. The rest of us didn't make the cut. Apparantly, our not considering her important counted rather heavily against us.

J.C. has come and gone, as well. In an odd twist, those who had looked most forward to His arrival were the first to reject Him for being a vagrant and bleeding-heart liberal "dirty hippy" type who'd run away from home at an early age, kept questionable company and refused to hold down a steady job.

He was not crucified, this time. He was beaten to death in an alley for His gentle ways and obvious lack of prurient interests in the opposite sex. Gay, vagrant loser liberals who hang with street whores aren't important, so nobody cared, except for one man who cared enough to mutter "Good riddance!" when he read the story on page 19 of his local paper. That man's death made the front page, the next day. Not because he was an important man, but because spontaneous combustion is such a rare cause of death.

Just One of the Monkeys - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
OK, that must be the best comment EVER. Whoever you are, SHC (and I have my suspicions), you are definitely one sizzling hot chick. Enjoy your stay in the land down under. Please say hello to Andy Warhol for me. And tell him that his prediction about everyone getting 15 minutes of fame has come true.
Sizzling Hot Chick - December 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Andy says, "Told you so!" and just how many sizzling hot chicks' trash have you gone through, hmm?
Jesus was a Jew - December 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Jesus was a jew. Idiot.
Just One of the Monkeys - December 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Rumor has it that he converted to, I dunno, Christianity or something.
Know 1 can hear you dream - January 03, 2005 - Report this comment
If Jesus showed up now he'd be in jail by next week, and without proper identification chances are that prison be Guantanamo, do you have any idea how many "terrorist acts" a man who can walk on water would be capable of? Also, even if he was identified as Jesus, the sudden outbreak of morality and drop in sinful behaviour would be devastating to the American (and Worlds) economy, we would all be back living in caves almost as quick as anyone could say "Sodom and Gomorrah". *shudders*
Melanie Lee - January 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Cute, but don't you know that Jesus was a Liberal Jew? At least that's what my T-shirt says! Bless God. 5-4-5. According to the Bible...Liberal Equals Noble and Generous! http://mnl_1221.tripod.com/liberal.html
Jack Handy - January 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Did Jesus Christ celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah?
Just One of the Monkeys - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Peterchyd: Heh heh.
Melanie Lee: I've seen "Jesus Was A Liberal" bumper stickers. How wonderfully in-your-face.
Jack Handy: Deep.

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