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Song Parodies -> "HALO"

Original Song Title:

"Halo Shampoo"

Original Performer:

Halo Shampoo Commercial

Parody Song Title:

"HALO"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In the 1990s there were many pilot reports by British Airways of close encounters with an unmanned small, golden covered triangular aircraft with no visable means of propulsion. Wingspan was a mere 30 ft across. The MoD denied its existence until much later and then reversed itself and claimed there was only an on-going BAe "project". HALO stands for High Altitude Low Observable and the craft's golden covering is a conductor for electricity! This machine seems to travel within an electrified field and thus the rhythmic humming sometimes heard when the craft was low to the ground, spotted by civilians is electric. In the air, the craft was so silent that British Airways never heard it coming and so almost ran into it several times. It made incredible manoeuvers that no pilot could withstand, very similar to claimed alien UFOs. It is claimed by many aviation experts that HALO uses FFX (Field Effects (FX)) propulsion which generates a traveling field; as such, it can defy the Newtonian laws of gravity. The field can change directions at speed instantaneously and pull Gs that would rip a human pilot apart. Those pilots that fly the ASTRA and other disc or black triangle craft are claimed to be held withing a riser field and can only see using a special helmet that converts images to fly... the human mind not able to follow the sudden changes. Such pilots also breathe claimed MINDEX mixtures to allow the brain to process this type of extreme flight.
HALO! In the skies-HALO!
HALO is a triangle using stealth hardware
BAe HALO! In the skies-HALO!
FFX propulsion gave British Airways many scares!

HALO was a mystery
reports- MoD excused them
Yet pilot accounts were convincing
fuselage was golden…

HALO! In the skies-HALO!
HALO made news!
HALO!
Whenever it came into view…

HALO!
From BAe something new!
Warning: ANY depiction of HALO with a cockpit is false. It is small and unmanned.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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AFW - December 03, 2012 - Report this comment
I'm sure this isn't a sham...and no poo, either..quite interesting..was this an invention and experiment of the Brits..?.
Rob Arndt - December 03, 2012 - Report this comment
Yes, it was a product of BAe in the 1990s and part of the FOAS program to replace the Tornado GR.4. The testbed was said to be a converted BAe Hawk trainer. It is rather strange in that it showed no evidence of any propulsion system at all and was gold-coated (a conductor of electricity). It rhythmically hummed at low altitude but was silent at height and often almost collided with several British Airways pilots that DID make reports. The British MoD denied these until the mid-1990s claiming a project existed and that it was cancelled after 1995. No photos nor data ever released on the program which MAY have led to the BAe Replica RCS testbed or a program called Nightjar. HALO also has nothing to do with British UAVs Corax nor Taranis. Requests for further information are denied, as with secret US programs.

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