Now, I'm lookin' at a man who lookin' really mad
I was doin' his wife, but now I'm feelin' sad
No matter how I whimper and cry
I'll never get out of this girl alive

That dude is beet red and so tall he stands
He's got himself a shotgun there in his hands
No matter how I stammer and lie
I'll never get out of this girl alive

I'd been so lonely night and day
Just lookin' for a fling
And then I found me an easy lay
And Mr. Happy didn't care she had a wedding ring

She sure don't seem to look so sexy now
If she weren't underneath me, I would push her down
But even if I blame her and whine
I'll never get out of this girl alive

I've got a good idea here in my mind
But it's just too danged late
I should've just shelled out the .95
'Cause a Hustler magazine is a safer date

But he has got that gun pointed at my brow
I wish that I just stayed lonely at home now
But 'cause I was a dumb horny guy
I'll never get out of this girl alive