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Song Parodies -> "Dan Rather, You're Canned"
Original Song Title:
"Come Home, Father"
Original Performer:
Henry Clay Work (1864) - Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Dan Rather, You're Canned"
Parody Written by:
Coral Snake
The Lyrics
Midi for Come Home, Father available at: (http://www.pdmusic.org/work.html)
---------------------------------------
Dan Rather gets the news.
about his "reward" for using forged
documents on 60 Minutes 2.
---------------------------------------
(Musical introduction)
(1.)
Rather, Dan Rather, you're getting the boot!
Your anchor desk stay is now done;
The news used to be an old media shop,
For ending that you were the one.
Your forged documents, brought us to the brink --
We're now making this very plain,
No one else will give you an anchor desk now,
Unless they have a gerbel brain.
You're canned! You're canned! You're canned!
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(CHORUS)
Now hear the voice of the network exec.
Your last President Bush bashing plan,
Will now only be getting you this "reward".
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(Musical interlude)
(2.)
Rather, Dan Rather, you're getting the boot!
And now we will show you the door;
For fake documents, that put us down the tubes --
You won't anchor here anymore.
Things are getting worse, our ratings have tanked,
They're now in a state of free fall;
So now here's the message we're going to bring --
Your booting will now be the call.
You're canned! You're canned! You're canned!
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(CHORUS)
Now hear the voice of the network exec.
Your last President Bush bashing plan,
Will now only be getting you this "reward".
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(Musical interlude)
(3.)
Rather, Dan Rather, you're getting the boot!
The Bloggers now bash us with glee;
You must have gone loony -- been anchor too long
That's sure what it looks like, we see.
We'll get someone else -- you carreer is dead,
Before April gives its first light;
Now here are the last words that we have for you --
Your anchor job's ended, good night.
You're canned! You're canned! You're canned!
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(CHORUS)
Now hear the voice of the network exec.
Your last President Bush bashing plan,
Will now only be getting you this "reward".
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
Dan Rather gets the news.
about his "reward" for using forged
documents on 60 Minutes 2.
---------------------------------------
(Musical introduction)
(1.)
Rather, Dan Rather, you're getting the boot!
Your anchor desk stay is now done;
The news used to be an old media shop,
For ending that you were the one.
Your forged documents, brought us to the brink --
We're now making this very plain,
No one else will give you an anchor desk now,
Unless they have a gerbel brain.
You're canned! You're canned! You're canned!
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(CHORUS)
Now hear the voice of the network exec.
Your last President Bush bashing plan,
Will now only be getting you this "reward".
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(Musical interlude)
(2.)
Rather, Dan Rather, you're getting the boot!
And now we will show you the door;
For fake documents, that put us down the tubes --
You won't anchor here anymore.
Things are getting worse, our ratings have tanked,
They're now in a state of free fall;
So now here's the message we're going to bring --
Your booting will now be the call.
You're canned! You're canned! You're canned!
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(CHORUS)
Now hear the voice of the network exec.
Your last President Bush bashing plan,
Will now only be getting you this "reward".
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(Musical interlude)
(3.)
Rather, Dan Rather, you're getting the boot!
The Bloggers now bash us with glee;
You must have gone loony -- been anchor too long
That's sure what it looks like, we see.
We'll get someone else -- you carreer is dead,
Before April gives its first light;
Now here are the last words that we have for you --
Your anchor job's ended, good night.
You're canned! You're canned! You're canned!
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
(CHORUS)
Now hear the voice of the network exec.
Your last President Bush bashing plan,
Will now only be getting you this "reward".
Dan Rather, Dan Rather, you're canned.
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User Comments
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Dan Rather isn't getting fired. He is RESIGNING. He's almost 80 years old. Just because the majority agrees with you doesn't mean you're right, as the Bush re-election definitely proves.
Dan Rather claimed that the "thrust" of his report was true, even though the documents it was based on were shown to be forgeries. Amazing how the "Bush lied" crowd doesn't seem to have a problem with lies told ABOUT Bush.
Dan Rather might not have been fired in the "face losing" sense of the word, but the decision for him to step down was mutually agreed upon between management and him. I think that, if he wasn't fired, management stongly encouraged him to make the "right choice."
There is no proof that Rather lied. The flack was about the source of the report, which was a broken-down typewriter made during World War One. Get your facts straight, Steve.
Rick, you just reinforced Steve's point. There is no proof that George Bush lied. Whereas Dan Rather relied on forged documents, George Bush relied on CIA intelligence that all of our allies and all of the national security team in the Clinton administration agreed with. But you are willing to give Rather, not Bush, the benefit of the doubt.
From Nixon to Bush, Dan Rather is a hero. The fact that he hasn't been as good as he used to be has nothing to do with the fact that George W. Bush is a damned draft-dodger who sent over a thousand Americans to die -- and thousands of others to kill -- for multiple proven lies. Rather will forever be a hero, as are Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings, as were Walter Cronkite, Chet Huntley, David Brinkley, John Chancellor, Howard K. Smith and, topping them all, Edward R. Murrow. As Murrow himself would say, Good night and good luck.
George Bush is not a draft dodger; but, if he were, what would that make Bill Clinton?
[Whimper] I'm still out on my ass!
homepage.mac.com/cfj/.Pictures/aug1873-pdf-animate.gif
Warren: "Who you gonna believe? Me or your own eyes?"
Mice: "OUR OWN EYES!!!"
[The mice then shower Warren with random bits of crockery.]
Warren: "Who you gonna believe? Me or your own eyes?"
Mice: "OUR OWN EYES!!!"
[The mice then shower Warren with random bits of crockery.]
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