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Song Parodies -> "Star-Nosed Mole"
Original Song Title:
"Heart and Soul"
Original Performer:
Hoagy Carmichael
Parody Song Title:
"Star-Nosed Mole"
Parody Written by:
Giorgio Coniglio's Grandson
The Lyrics
Explanatory notes: The star-nosed mole inhabits wet low-lying areas of Canada and the northeastern US. It has been much less well known than its lawn-disturbing cousin, the common Eastern mole. National Geographic recently suggested that it may be the weirdest creature on the planet. Thanks for inspiration to Dr Jeff Moran.
Star-nosed mole – I fail to grasp your charms -
Fleshy snout, thick tail and flipper arms
Slit eyes,
No need to use a mirror:
You won’t be ogled by peers.
Star-nosed mole – a neuroscience find -
Tactile nose, hunts prey though eyes are blind
Feelers (tentacles)
Discern where kisses land,
Just like an eye or a hand.
Star-nosed mole – bolts half its weight each day
Stim-response? – Earth’s quickest, Wiki say,
Nostrils
In midst of quivering nose,
Stay underwater closed.
Strangely evolved for digging, feeding, swimming.
How do you get to breeding, her-and-himm-ing?
So, you can ‘see’
By integrating touch,
Brain can ‘watch’- snarf yummy worms and such.
Somehow
You find cloacal holes
Of other star-nosed moles.
Fleshy snout, thick tail and flipper arms
Slit eyes,
No need to use a mirror:
You won’t be ogled by peers.
Star-nosed mole – a neuroscience find -
Tactile nose, hunts prey though eyes are blind
Feelers (tentacles)
Discern where kisses land,
Just like an eye or a hand.
Star-nosed mole – bolts half its weight each day
Stim-response? – Earth’s quickest, Wiki say,
Nostrils
In midst of quivering nose,
Stay underwater closed.
Strangely evolved for digging, feeding, swimming.
How do you get to breeding, her-and-himm-ing?
So, you can ‘see’
By integrating touch,
Brain can ‘watch’- snarf yummy worms and such.
Somehow
You find cloacal holes
Of other star-nosed moles.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 14 | 14 | 14 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I enjoyed the clever wordplay, young man. Of course, I didn't vote. Carmichael and Mercer are among the greatest at music/lyrics, but they didn't succeed at creating a musical play. So they don't get their due. Here's a novelty song. It contains one offensive word, acceptable when it was written but later changed to "Memphis" boy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pb8CyXD5as Regards to Grandpa.
Grandpa loved the spinnet/infinite rhyme from the song. Incidentally, your alter egos as well as the esteemed Patrick, routinely pass up the opp. to numerically rate any submits that they comment on; GC taught me to do that only when befuddled by the humor component (a few might laugh, some offended/grossed-out). So why did I get all the flak today, do you think?
The 1s are given by swine who are jealous of their betters. I, for one, abjure scoring because pacing, as well as humor, is also carelessly evaluated. Most misfits give straight 1s. Others give automatic straight 5s to institutional favorites of AIR. It may be that today you've become a modern day Lazarus, and the Christian fundamentalists as well as the Top Hat purists are offended by the chutzpah.
I wonder if it saw its shadow? I also don't get all the low votes, hope my 5's balance it out a bit
We surface-dwellers often get confused among the heroes of Groundhog Day (aka as woodchucks), gophers and moles. My timing of this posting made that worse. You can dig up startling views of the elusive star-nosed mole on Youtube videos by the BBC and National Geographic.
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