-> "Tweaked Red's Pique (Figure Skater Evan Lysacek)"
Original Song Title:
"Cheek to Cheek"
Parody Song Title:
"Tweaked Red's Pique (Figure Skater Evan Lysacek)"
The Lyrics
Evan… Gold win: Evan
Unsurpassable in artistry, technique
Apollonian in figure and physique [1]
Charismatic, debonair and oh-so-chic [2]
Evan… Free skate: heaven
And the flair Plushenko showed throughout the week
Seemed to vanish, like the Russians' winning streak
Left him pouting—rather, ranting—peak of pique
Yes, Plushenko was the champ'ion
And he figured he'd repeat
But he didn't count on Lysacek
An upset; sad defeat
Af-terwards, he stood there b*tching
He delivered shots so cheap
Sour grapes: the scores "absurdly wrong!"
Evgeni, you're a creep!
Rant, did he:
"I spun the quad, and not you" [3]
Disarmed; they tout you
You carried it through, true....
Evan… Cheering Evan
Hearts were beating so that we could hardly speak
Perfect "Fire-bird"; "Scheherazade", complete [4]
Newest hero: Skating venue Olympíque!
[1] No relation to Apoloohno-ian, wink-nudge ;)
[2] TT thinks a certain violinist has a crush...
[3] Lysacek was quite gracious and sportsmanlike in victory, but Evgeni Plushenko immediately started claiming he'd been robbed, or words to that effect. It boiled down to this:
"I did the quad, and he didn't. So I win."
The quadruple toe loop (jump up, spin four times in the air, land smoothly) is one of the most difficult tricks in figure skating, and is Plushenko's trademark. BUT:
It isn't a contest to see who can do the most difficult single trick. It's four minutes and forty seconds of "total routine", Dude, including versatility in elements and tricks, overall choreography, and GOE -- Grade of Execution. And yours sucked, while Evan nailed his -- *all* of them. Even the famous quad had a slight bobble on the landing .... and Russki ran out of tricks with about a minute left, and just sort of ambled around, killing time, while Evan (amazing likeness of names here) put on a smooth, full, versatile performance from start to finish. In fact, their scores for Artistry were identical… so it did all come down to the *quality* of the jumps. And Evan Lysacek won, by superior Grade of Execution.
Never one to concede graciously, Plushenko has awarded himself a "platinum medal" on his *own* web site. Go suck your thumb, crybaby.
[4] Plushenko will rue that day for 1,001 nights.;) (Drummer: Rimsky-shot!)
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.6 | |
How Funny: | 4.6 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.6 | |
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Total Votes: | 9 |
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