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Song Parodies -> "Streets of the Ghetto"

Original Song Title:

"Streets of Laredo"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"Streets of the Ghetto"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Sports columnist Jason Whitlock recently uncovered a dirty little secret: the National Rifle Association is the new Ku Klux Klan. Well, it had to come out sooner or later. Next time you drive through an inner city neighborhood, look for us. We're the ones wearing the white sheets with the pointy hoods. We'll be driving pick-up trucks with Confederate flags. Just stop and say "Howdy", and we'll give you a handgun or assault rifle so you can commit genocide on your own people. We keep getting requests for drugs, but that's not our thing. Talk to the CIA about that.
As I drove down the grey streets of the Ghetto
As I drove out in the Ghetto one day
I spied a young Black man with nary a bullet
I rolled down my window, said "I'm NRA"

I see by your skin tone that you are a Black man
And you are unarmed, and that somehow seems wrong
If you'll take a look in the trunk of my Kia
You'll find a TEC-9 you can have for a song

'cause here on these mean streets it ain't safe for walking
There's some dude waiting to blow you away
I've got the hardware to even your chances
A gift from your friends in the new KKK

Here's six thirty-rounders to spray lots of bullets
Six hi-cap magazines loaded with shells
In the streets and the alleys we'll add up the tallies
Of young Black men blowing each other to hell

The bullets flew quickly, blood puddled thickly
Each morning the TV would chalk up the score
Whenever the cops would recover a weapon
We'd go to the slums and deliver some more

Every new sunrise is a funeral morning
A convoy of hearses now rolls round the clock
For each one who dies there's another one borning
We're there at the nursery to sell him a Glock

From all these murders we may draw a lesson
Folks can be bent to accomplish our will
Give some peaceful man a brand new Smith and Wesson
He'll turn to a fiend, with a blood-lust to kill

You've just heard the tale of a once-tranquil ghetto
It's now a war zone, we're the new KKK
Cynical plot, have we any regret? No!
We don't sell crack cocaine, that would be CIA

If selling guns to the ghetto, which the NRA most assuredly does not do, makes them the KKK, then the BATFE, which did indeed release guns to the Mexican cartels, must also be a KKK. And who is in charge of the BATFE? Right. Only in America could a Black kid from Kenya grow up to be the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. As for the cocaine, a lot of otherwise sensible Black leaders, and many in the general public, believe that the Central Intelligence Agency is smuggling drugs into Black neighborhoods, and, I guess, forcing young Black men to take the drugs so they will ruin their lives. I guess the CIA must use force, because all the community would have to do to foil this fiendish scheme is to simply not take the drugs.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   6
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 7
 

User Comments

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AFW - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Interesting sarcasm
Rob Arndt - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Well directed sarcasm-555!
Kook Clucks Sham - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Given the controversy, there should be a lot more v/c/views here. Solid skewering of two conspiracy-theories, with some clever rhyming plus the bonus of an occasional internal rhyme. Your skill continues to grow. This is a .555 caliber parody, no doubt. I'd send you some high-powered magazines, but all I have are Playboy™ and Penthouse™.
Patrick - December 28, 2012 - Report this comment
.555 caliber is considered a "destructive device" under BATFE regulations, unless you can convince the technical branch that your creation has a "sporting purpose". Thanks for the offer of the magazines, but I'd rather look at the centerfold from "American Rifleman". One sick puppy, eh? One liberal and two conservatives have looked at my story and think it is "sarcasm". I guess our secret is still safe, and the Klavern and I can go out this Friday night once more, to hand out Saturday Night Specials.
Barry J. Mitchel - December 28, 2012 - Report this comment
It's not sarcasm, it's satire on the exaggerated claims of "liberals" who see gun control as the only "solution" and gun makers & distributors as evil while giving Fast&Furious a pass. Great ideas but pacing was a bit off in places, easily fixed.
Patrick - December 28, 2012 - Report this comment
I was working from an unposted parody, rather than the original lyrics. Wait till that one gets on line, it's just about as inflammatory as this one. Maybe next week.
Old Man Ribber - December 28, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick - It's as if I never left. You (along with AFW, BJM, Rob, et. al.) are in top form. My compliments. ;D
Lifeliver - January 01, 2013 - Report this comment
Clever take here on what seems to be a very divisive issue right now. I don't wish to comment on the issue but I think lobbyists of both sides can dig the satire in this.

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