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Song Parodies -> "James Comey Blues"

Original Song Title:

"Folsom Prison Blues"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"James Comey Blues"

Parody Written by:

Onslaught

The Lyrics

I never saw it coming
It caught me by surprise
Delivered over chyron
I can’t believe my eyes
Well I guess I’ll just get crackin’, dust off my resume’
Cause I just found out I’m fired, while landing in L.A.

When I get back to D.C.
Not gonna’ have much time
For joking with fellas
Investigatin’ crime
I gotta’ clear my desk out
And cram it in a box
Cause they said that in ten minutes
They’re gonna’ change the locks

(Pickin’)

I blame the Clintons mostly
For the pickle that I’m in
I sit around in socks and drawers
Just swillin’ cheap-ass gin
But I never saw it comin’
Cause I’m “untouchable” (see what I did there?)
If that stupid bitch had won it
Then I’d still have my pull

(Grinnin’)

Well, if I hadn’t been so foolish
Hadn’t been so asinine
You bet your sweet patootie I’d have toed the comp’ny line
Instead there’s unemployment to keep the wolves away
And a pension, and stock options... I guess I’ll be Okay.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 8
 
 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   6
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 6
 

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
My thoughts exactly- 555!
John Litel - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
It's not the Clintons who set off Comey's firing. Trump would have given him the Medal of Freedom, if he could, for the Clinton bungling. Instead he set up the deputy Attorney General as fall guy. Comey was just too energetic investigating Trump ties with Russia, and Donald panicked. Meanwhile, Russian photographers are crawling all over the Oval Office, maybe planting bugs. Total chaos and incompetence. Didn't you see the crap coming last November?
Onslaught - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
You over analyze a joke. Pull the stick out and just relax.
John Litel - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
"Pull the stick out." "Relax." That's exactly what THEY want me to do.
Onslaught - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
Who is this "They" you refer to?
John Litel - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
Who are THEY? The Evil Powers That Be. The Enemy, whose identity is obvious. The Inscrutable Foe. Those Who Seek Our Demise. Where are THEY? Everywhere, if not in person, then by way of diabolical gadgets. Remember: A slip of the lip can sink a ship; the walls have ears. Now we both know that walls don't have actual ears. No, what we are dealing with is a metaphor. The metaphor is the most potent weapon in THEIR toolbox. Do they really have a toolbox? No, that's another metaphor. Do you see now how insidious the threat from THEM is? And what do we have as countermeasures? Puny pseudonyms like "Onslaught." Mr. President, we must not allow a metaphor gap!
Onslaught - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
If you don't know just say so.
John Litel - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
Oh, I know it well. Here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0X0ZYbnHxA
Onslaught - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
I don't follow links provided by unstable mentalities, you understand, viruses and the like. If you ever find who this "they" are you be sure to let me know. Okay?
Voter - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
Onslaught doesn't want to to hear or know the truth.
John Litel - May 11, 2017 - Report this comment
What's even worse, Voter, is that the clueless Onslaught wrote that I was overanalyzing a joke.
Onslaught - May 12, 2017 - Report this comment
Talking to yourself doesn't recommend your credibility or state of mind
John Litel - May 12, 2017 - Report this comment
Responding to a sober statement with the snarky "pull the stick out" doesn't speak well of your judgment and invites the tweaking you received, but hadn't the wit to comprehend. "They" say that people like you are forever operating inside the box.
Little John - May 12, 2017 - Report this comment
We cant really say for sure whether Onslaught failed to comprehend John Litel's wit or not -- because there was no wit to comprehend. So it wasn't a fair test
Lil' John - May 12, 2017 - Report this comment
Onslaught thinks he's a genius. Here, analyze three ones! It's a fair rating given his highly overrated opinion of himself and his topic of choice. John Litel pegged him correctly.
Onslaught - May 13, 2017 - Report this comment
I was wondering what it would take to coax you wood ticks out from under your rock. I thank you for your support.
D87f21 - May 13, 2017 - Report this comment
Onslaught is a gutless turd
Onslaught - May 13, 2017 - Report this comment
Thanks for your support.

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