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Song Parodies -> "Synthaflesh"

Original Song Title:

"Be Your Best"

Original Performer:

Kagen Meyers

Parody Song Title:

"Synthaflesh"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

South Korea and Japan are competing for a range of new more- than-robotic escorts, companions, and sexbots. Progress is now moving towards synthetic Bio-Beings (aka Synthaflesh) that are able to interact sexually with both males and females (although the market is male-dominated). The differences between a pure robot and the BBs is that the BBs learn from the start and can actually biologically interact sexually with their masters/owners. A female costs $18K or more while she-male customs go for $22-25k!!! All of the buyers thus far are reputed to be straight men. These BBs have gel pack breasts, a gel form penis, pneumo and heating sytems for erections, and can ejaculate a protein mix that is healthy to consume. A special natural lubricating spread also is applied to allow oral sex with the BB. No taste of old rubber or latex or even pungent semen, the syn-skin is close to the human type although recessed finger and toe nails and taller staure than avg. females with perfect engineered proportions. The she-males stand 5' 7", 5' 9", and 6' 0"!!! Penis size is customized to buyers specs. Buyers must be supervised and trained at a facility to properly interact with the BB once purchased. In sexual situations the BB takes oral commands but has a degree of flexibility when engaged in sex acts. They also must be regularly serviced. This is literally light years ahead of the old blow-up doll!!! One can kiss them, be held by them, engage in response sexuality, and experience artificial oral, vaginal, or anal sex with them reacting instead of remaining stationary! No chance of a STD, no AIDS, no moral grounds for judgement as it is a synthetic being and it communicates when spoken to or on its own. The first female version was developed for the ROK Army minus sexual organ for recon and deception. After abandonment in the early 2000s, a company called KOANI altered the bio-form for the civilian market.
South Korean Synthaflesh
Bio-skin, no rubber nor latex
Gel packs for each upturned breast
Yet she-male models sell the best!!!

Gel form penis with gel testes
Inflato-sack, pneumatic-stretch
Heating element- perfect
Protein cream spread for oral sex!!!

Synthaflesh
For synthasex
Halfers best
Sell more than rest

Straight rich guys drop 20 grand
The custom beauties much in demand
No remote, just clear commands
Synthetics learn with complex programs

Slowly, they first choose their speech
Four languages, a choice for each*
Learn to dress, undress, tasks do complete
Synthetics, no worries, they don’t cheat!!!

Synthaflesh
For synthasex
Halfers best
Sell more than rest

Saliva now erosyn
Ejaculation is Amalyn
Edible protein pumped in
Internal self-cleaning stored within

Synthaflesh
For synthasex
What comes next?
Sci-fi concepts???

Future is NOW, we must accept... change.
No photo could be presented due to high sexual content. Even CG pics are too graphic in detail. *4 languages available are Korean, Japanese, Chinese, and English.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

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User Comments

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Phil Alexander - January 15, 2013 - Report this comment
8-O

..when you say "regularly serviced"..er..
Old Man Ribber - January 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Rob - An unsettling glance into the future. I am reminded of the slur used in Blade Runner..."Skin Jobs"! ;D
Rob Arndt - January 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Re-submitted due to error with author name :(
Wendy Christopher - January 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Oh. My. GOD!

I'll admit I had to laugh at 'no moral grounds for judgement as it is a synthetic being'... "Hey, you can't call me weird... I'm humping a ROBOT and you can't prove she aint loving it!!" Each to their own, I suppose (and if they've bought and paid for it I suppose it really WILL be 'their own'...) but I can't help feeling that an easier solution would be for them to just... you know, go out and meet REAL humans? Would they be battery operated, or would you have to periodically plug them into the wall to recharge... jeez, why the heck am I even asking that??! This has blown my mind so much my brain is confused into thinking it wants to know these things! For an eloquently detailed vision of a bizarre future I salute you with a 555. But now, if you don't mind, I must go and wash my brain... ;^)
Rob Arndt - January 15, 2013 - Report this comment
LOL, Wendy... wait until I write about the TRANGEL!!!
Rob Arndt - January 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Note: Chuck fixed author name, so this version will stay :)
Lifeliver - January 15, 2013 - Report this comment
As Lenny said on your other oarody today, the detail in your intro is amazing (as it often is), and nice to see a more 'playful' topic.

I wonder if they could program one to write approving comments on your parodies: the perfect partner , not that you need one (approving commenter, I mean). Why don't they make these androids for girls 0 surely it's a short step from ladyboy to toyboy? That's a rhetorical Q, btw!

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