MEE-OW, MEE-OW, MEE-YEW!!
Whatever shall I do?
Godfrey Daniel, the kitty's acting skiddish!
That frisky so-and-so,
Has been up to his old tricks.
It's time one of us should go . . .

(chorus)

Does your Puddy-Tat order kitty toys on Ebay while you sleep?
When he manxes-out your Visa - It's enough to make you weep.
Then you spot a big rig - bringing Friskies - coming down your street.
Does your Puddy-Tat order kitty toys on Ebay while you sleep?

Here comes my English hound.
He barely makes a sound.
Head hung and hobblin', looks just like he killed Cock Robin.
His crime can't be erased.
Guilt's written on his face.
I give canine the evil eye,
And thus begins the chase . . .

(chorus)

Is your puppy-dog on the internet all night with QVC?
There's a sale on king-size doghouses - He tells them, "Gimme three!".
How can they say he's man's best friend - When he'll be the death of me?
If he gets those three doghouses, better save the best for me.

There's a thumping on the stairs,
And rumbling desks and chairs.
Up in the attic - Yes, the clatter was dramatic.
A crash in the base-ment.
Much to my amaze-ment,
I found a hopping nightmare - an Australian-bred ro-dent . . .

(chorus)

Seems my kiddies have given refuge to a Klepto Kangaroo.
Now my HDTV's missing, though I've searched the whole house through.
Then from deep within his pouch I hear Australian Evening News.
They will guzzle your booze while you snooze- You can't trust those kangaroos.

(final whiz-bang of a chorus)

Does your Puddy-Tat order kitty toys on Ebay overnight?
When you order him to send them back, he paws his nose in spite.
This furrrocious, fevered feline wonders when you'll get it right.
"You're a knave in my Kitty Kingdom - Feed my royal appeti----te!" "Purrrrrr...!!"