Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
Song Parodies -> "Cultists Christmas Carol"
Original Song Title:
"We Wish You A Merry Christmas"
Original Performer:
Miscellaneous
Parody Song Title:
"Cultists Christmas Carol"
Parody Written by:
Adam David
The Lyrics
A few years ago, in a fit of "Bah, humbug", I penned a collection of anti-carols for an "Alternate Christmas Songbook". Here is one of them. I did mess with the format of this one however, as the original carol has the refrain "Good tidings we bring..." sung after every verse. That got a little clunky and drawn out in this version, so I cut it down to a single refrain at the most appropriate spot and the rest is all sung as regular verses, with the exception of the last line, which should be spoken in your best Vincent Price impersonation.
We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new year.
We’ve come for your first-born children, we’ve come for your first-born children
We’ve come for your first-born children, so bring them out here.
Don’t be alarmed, there’s no need to fear.
It’s our little tradition, we do it each year!
The altar is laid and ready, the altar is laid and ready
The altar is laid and ready, the deadline draws near.
The knife has been freshly sharpened, the knife has been freshly sharpened
The knife has been freshly sharpened, and bloodstains wash clear.
With blood we will call the Master, with blood we will call the Master
With blood we will call the Master and summon him here.
We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas…
and a *hell* of a new year!
We wish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new year.
We’ve come for your first-born children, we’ve come for your first-born children
We’ve come for your first-born children, so bring them out here.
Don’t be alarmed, there’s no need to fear.
It’s our little tradition, we do it each year!
The altar is laid and ready, the altar is laid and ready
The altar is laid and ready, the deadline draws near.
The knife has been freshly sharpened, the knife has been freshly sharpened
The knife has been freshly sharpened, and bloodstains wash clear.
With blood we will call the Master, with blood we will call the Master
With blood we will call the Master and summon him here.
We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas…
and a *hell* of a new year!
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.
Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
| ||||||||||||||||||
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 1 | 1 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Sick, sick, sick. The ultimate evil.
Interesting satire.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
Link To This Page
The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/miscellaneous8.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.
This is view # 1309