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Song Parodies -> "Battle Hymn of the Tympanic Membrane (my ear surgery)"
Original Song Title:
"Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Original Performer:
Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Parody Song Title:
"Battle Hymn of the Tympanic Membrane (my ear surgery)"
Parody Written by:
Brent Hodgkinson
The Lyrics
An especially extensive surgery on my ear (incision around the back left it dangling, almost detached) put me in a mood to sing about the carnage.
Battle Hymn of the Tympanic Membrane
Mine ears have seen the bloodshed of the coming of his sword,
He is dampening out the sound waves where the music makes a chord,
He hath loosed a grateful eardrum with its hopes to be restored,
His sutures sewed it on...
Glory, glory, Dr. Darley!
It's so gory, Dr. Darley!
What's the story, Dr. Darley?
My ear is stapled on!...(gloria..gloria...)
He hath lasered out the tissue that was growing in all wrong,
And he drained the lake of fluid that prevented hearing song,
Oh, be swift, my ear, to heal and hear the sounds for which I long,
It still is staying on!!
Glory, Glory, I can't hear you!
Gory, gory, hand a tissue!
Glory, Glory, hallelujah!
This ear just might stay on!!!!!
In the beauty of the mastoid, Incus, Malleus, and Stapes (stay-peas);
With a scalpel in his flanges, he transfigured it for me,
As he tried to fix its purpose, let it rest and then we'll see,
If sweet sounds ring in thee!
Mine ears have seen the bloodshed of the coming of his sword,
He is dampening out the sound waves where the music makes a chord,
He hath loosed a grateful eardrum with its hopes to be restored,
His sutures sewed it on...
Glory, glory, Dr. Darley!
It's so gory, Dr. Darley!
What's the story, Dr. Darley?
My ear is stapled on!...(gloria..gloria...)
He hath lasered out the tissue that was growing in all wrong,
And he drained the lake of fluid that prevented hearing song,
Oh, be swift, my ear, to heal and hear the sounds for which I long,
It still is staying on!!
Glory, Glory, I can't hear you!
Gory, gory, hand a tissue!
Glory, Glory, hallelujah!
This ear just might stay on!!!!!
In the beauty of the mastoid, Incus, Malleus, and Stapes (stay-peas);
With a scalpel in his flanges, he transfigured it for me,
As he tried to fix its purpose, let it rest and then we'll see,
If sweet sounds ring in thee!
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User Comments
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Remember, always be careful to practice SAFE oomox!
LOL, but the last verse is problematic/confusing re inner ear ossicles.. I'll also give you the doubt/benefit, and assume that "flanges" is an intentional malapropism for "phyllanges"; otherwise why not use fingers/digits? (sec code VTM)
Music is one of the most important pleasures in my life. Congratulations on your efforts to be able to enjoy it again. I wish you well.
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