(As sung by Antonin Scalia)
I just want that Chief Justice Chair
I can't get it with Gore in there
So Bush must win, that's fair!
Ah, won't the Court be loverly?

Lots of votes on the tally sheet,
Now comes Gore making lots of heat
But we'll fix that, we'll cheat!
Ah, won't the court be loverly?

He'll - send - us lots of right-wing judges who will make - us - proud,
I - won't - have to argue with - this - li - ber - al lefty crowd.
Some say our reputation's hurt
Ruth and Souter can go eat dirt!
Bush takes good care of me
Ah, won't - the - court - - be loverly!
Liberal? no! Loverly!
Five-to-four? Nevermore!