CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE,
The fire screen should have been kept closed.
But open flames tend to shoot so much higher
and sparks jump out where they're exposed.

Not ev'rybody knows some turkey's bringing mistletoe,
trying to kiss some girl tonight.
His lame plans are what ev'ry girl knows
will keep him more alone, despite.

They know it's such an old cliché
like, "How can Santa's reindeer fly with all that weight?"
Yet, ev'ry simple mind is going to try,
when she says, "No", he's got to go and ask, "Why?"

And so, it's time to get back to the case
of fire screens not put into use.
Just so it won't spread to your carpet and drapes,
keep your Christmas fool- proof.