Ooh-ooh-ooh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

I've seen you try to ollie and grind, yeah
Just not the way you're supposed to
You knew it would hurt if you landed balls-first
I can't lie, it was funny to view
But what's less funny is despite the hurt
You have retained your confidence
It's not as funny when you lack the talent
To achieve your dreams, so just stop it

You can't skate, please
Each time that you try, you end up bloody, your wounds full of dirt, yeah-eah-eah
That's gotta hurt, afraid that you'll never
Shred and other words you hear as dull chatter
In dated 90's movies, won't be greater
Than Tony Hawk, please, you're just not a skater

Should be glad you're no clown, pads and helmet now
You don't say that protection's for dweebs
Accepted the simple truth that you need it 'cause you
Will take a fall down the halfpipe real quickly
It was funny, ev'ry flip misaimed
All your money spent on brand new boards
Way less funny 'cause you try to step things up
Only mark you've made is on the floor

You can't skate, please
The schadenfreude has turned into worry each time you get hurt, yeah-eah-eah
"Skills just need work"? A huge understatement
Your nosegrab just hurts once you hit the pavement
Because you can't seem to let go, your trainer
Quit after two weeks, you're just not a skater

Ha-ah-ah
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before you went and broke your legs in two
Ha-ah-ah
When you're bleedin' in the mess you made
Don't you dare forget the words I say:

You can't skate, please
Your spins have never reached the one-eighty you need, bet that hurts, yeah-eah-eah
Bail in the dirt but it seems you'll never
Decide it's not worth the constant blood splatters
It's not hard to see odds aren't in your favour
To master this, geez, you're just not, just not a skater (ha-ah-ah)
Yeah, you're not a skater

Hoo-ooh-ooh
God, I wish that you had thought this through
Before you went and landed on me, dude