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Song Parodies -> "It's Beginning Too Soon to Look Like Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Perry Como

Parody Song Title:

"It's Beginning Too Soon to Look Like Christmas"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

"Isn't there anyone who knows when Christmas is supposed to begin?" Sure, Charlie Brown. It starts as soon as East Brunswick High, my alma mater, completes its annual Thanksgiving Day football whupping from arch-rival Old Bridge. "But what if EB wins?" Charlie Brown, you blockhead! If you believe in that, then you believe in Santa Claus, the Great Pumpkin, and dogs that can fly World War I biplanes! Good grief! (My late grandmother pointed out that dollar stores seem to have taken the place of five-and-ten stores. Routes 4 & 17 are the intersection of that sterotypical New Jersey shopping center, Garden State Plaza in Paramus.)
It's beginning too soon to look like Christmas
everywhere you go.
Take a look in the dollar store:
Pine trees made from cardboard
and six-foot-high styrofoam men-of-snow.

It's beginning too soon to look like Christmas.
Sales in every store.
And the horrible sight to see
is the traffic that will be
backed up on Route 4.

A bunch of Home Depot ads are aimed at the Dads.
And Target's for Mom and her friends.
And girls need those jeans to go make the scenes
and boys shoot those video men.
And I have seen that Halloween
has yet to come again!

It's beginning too soon to look like Christmas
everywhere you go.
Big bucks you have now had to shell.
And gasoline as well.
The dirty minds who want us to spend dough.

It's beginning too soon to look like Christmas.
Soon the songs will start.
And the kids working in retail
you can hear them weep and wail.
Hear the screeching cart!

(instrumental break)

A bunch of Home Depot ads are aimed at the Dads.
And Target's for Mom and her friends.
And girls need those jeans to go make the scenes
and boys shoot those video men.
Just stop it, please! The World Series
has yet to come again!

It's beginning too soon to look like Christmas.
Sales in every store.
And the horrible sight to see
is the traffic that will be
backed up on Route 4.

It's not Christmas.
Well before.
Ho freakin' ho. I have to vote on Election Day. After that, wake me up when November ends.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
amen brother....the images of christmas have begun crawling from the woodwork already
John Barry - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Alas, the true meaning of Christmas as pagan ritual has been lost in a sea of crass commercialism.
TJC - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Very funny and.... Happy New Year!
AFW - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Humerous concept and well done...
2Eagle - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
It starts right after Halloween.
Lionel Mertens - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
A very merry good point. 5's
Stuart McArthur - November 01, 2015 - Report this comment
I hear you mate! Great title!
Connor Banjoper - September 25, 2022 - Report this comment
Joe the Crazy Conch also has a song quite like this. It's a sheer coincidence that Michael Pacholek happens to live in the same state as Joe the Crazy Conch.

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