I promise that our whole menu's tasty
From soup or eclairs made with choux pastry
To massive steaks all covered in gravy
So I'm a little stumped
More than just a bit confused
Brow's just so furrowed as you peruse
But what comes out of your mouth gives me truth
"Well, this review..."

That ass on Yelp
Apologies for bein' blunt, I couldn't help myself
That single one-star ratin' has my bosses raisin' hell
Know it's a fabrication and that isn't swell
But we can't purge it and that hurts, screw that ass on Yelp (Yelp)
Yelp

We'd love to axe it but there's a small problem:
The higher-ups don't want lawyers comin'
And this guy is the sort that would be drummin'
The whole "it's my right" issue, huh
So we just have to let it sit
Though at least the top comment
Is our best manager, loves refutin'
Liars who bullshit-spread

That ass on Yelp
Seems to think he can tank our solid rep all by himself
From lies about bugs and hair in his food when all can tell
He AI-genned his pictures, don't buy what he sells
He's just butthurt his negs don't work, screw that ass on Yelp (Yelp)
Yelp
Yelp
Yelp

Weird that you would take at face value, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
His full-of-holes screed, I'm gettin' déjà vu from your face, wait, it's you (oh-oh)

That ass on Yelp
That moustache almost fooled me but you had to go and yell
I recognise that timbre: it's the customer from hell
I would almost be impressed but now I can tell
You to hit dirt 'cause you're banned, sir, screw that ass on Yelp (Yelp)
Yelp
Yelp
Yelp