Many, many years ago
When I was just a lad
I bought an atlas because
My direction sense was bad

The atlas changed to Map Quest
Which made it easier for you
You just you fill in a starting point
And your destination too

These programs map out your route
And they change your very life
So my atlas was replaced
By an electronic device

To complicate the matters worse
Although it brought me joy
I soon became the owner
Of another directional toy

My brother gave me a GPS
It’s called a little Nuvi
And if you plug in coordinates
It’s really quite groovy

So now the Atlas and computer
Sit dormant side by side
And I use the little Garmin
Every time I ride

I added on a TomTom
and bought a Magellen too
And then misplaced them both
What’s a girl to do?

I used the Nuvi to find Magellan
But he was lost in his own Straight
He thought the Philippines were India
Follow his GPS? Not so great

Then I used my Garmin
To locate the lost TomTom
But the Nuvi lost itself
And exploded like a bomb

The laptop and atlas
alas also exploded in
So, now without any maps at all
I am my own Garmin!