Well, the Lord made cats and it's kinda fitten
How the tom cat grew and the cat had kittens
And the pussycat lookin' for a mate
Made a smelly cat
So they roamed the streets and they gathered all
Of the alley cats into one fur ball
And the alley cats from a million buts
Sprayed their smelly schmutz.

Oh, smelly cat won't you be my watch dog
Oh Smelly Cat be my own
Just a ball of fur and a bag of bone
Made a walkin' stalkin' Smelly Bomb
Oh, Smelly Cat won't you be my guardian
Well, Smelly Cat be my pet
What a happy end when you got a friend like Smelly Cat.

The farmer had an avocado tree
So she'd have some fruit for the family
And the fruit turned out like precious pearls
Then along came the squirrels
Now they waited 'round 'till the end of fall
With their beady eyes when they'd eat 'em all
Then they moved their bushy tails fast
From the smelly cat.

Smelly Cat won't you be my buddy
Oh, Smelly Cat be my pet
Just a ball of fur and eau de schmutz
Made a walkin' stalkin' smelly cat.
Well, Smelly Cat won't you be my hound dog
Yeah, Smelly Cat be my pet
It's a happy end when you got a friend like Smelly Cat.

So he chased the squirrels and hung around
He curled up, made a little sound
Felt so soft as a Teddy bear
So they called it purr
So they prowled around and caterwauled
"Till the neighbors griped and raised a bawl
Then Phoebe took him off to the vet
He's our favorite pet.

Oh, Smelly Cat now we got you neutered
But, Smelly Cat you're still baaad
Just a ball of fur and a soft, sweet purr
Made a cleaner, meaner pussycat
Oh, Pussycat won't you be my tiger
Well, Pussycat be my pet
What a happy end when you got a friend like Pussycat.