"Parton Party"

I went to a Parton Party, not sure who all was there
Ev’rybody’d dressed Dolly drag, there were Dollys ev’rywhere
They drank RC Co-colas and spoke in Southern drawls
So that near ‘bout awl th’ greetin’s thar wuz “Hey yew!”s an’ “How y’all?”s

But it’s all right, hon, I didn’t go as myself
Just like ev’rybody else I went as that saucy Southern elf.

Ev’ryone wore crimson lips and a wig of blonde big hair
And a belted dress stuffed with pink balloons aping Dolly’s famous pair.
They all sang Dolly’s music (no one promised a rose garden,
But nobody quite had Dolly’s voice and they begged each other’s pardon).

But it’s all right, hon, I didn’t go as myself
Just like ev’rybody else I went as that saucy Southern elf.
La-da da-da-da, la-da da-da-da

The highlight of the party was a contest staged to pick
The Dollyest Dolly clone among those dolled-up dudes and chicks.
The winner of the contest was a tall fat Chinese guy
He didn’t look like Dolly much but he had her twinkly eye.

But it’s all right, hon, I didn’t go as myself
Just like ev’rybody else I went as that saucy Southern elf.
La-da da-da-da, la-da da-da-da

The whole scene was surrealler than if Hughes wore Dylan’s shoes
And it even drew some coverage in the local TV news
If you go to a Parton party, any shyness you should shuck --
Don a dress and wig and sing and drawl and smile with plenty pluck.

You’ll be all right, hon, just don’t go as yourself
Don a dress and wig and sing and drawl like that saucy Southern elf.