I gotta tell you, Bah humbug!
I gotta tell you, Bah humbug!
Your Christmas list reads like-a Blade Runner rubbish
What’s this new Apple gadget? Pair of Beats? Parody!
Who‘s Bieber? Who’s Bieber?

What’s wrong with a board game? Not sixty bucks
No blood and guts
(No “Sh*ts” or “f**ks”)

I ain’t got mucho dinero
But just be glad Santa’s here, though
With Chia Pets
Potato Head
(And stuff for bed)

Bah, bah, humbug
Bah, bah, humbug
Bah, bah, humbug
Bah!

You probably won’t think I’m gnarly!
But don’t go all Jacob Marley
On Christmas Eve
I’m gonna call the Ghostbusters
You don‘t need any sports shoes! Wear my old shoes, bowling shoes!
No Reebok, no Reebok

(Guitar solo)

Brrrr-um-pum-pum!

(Guitar solo resumes)

It’s getting too damn commercial!
I’m changing my name to Herschel
And Mazel Tov
You don’t know the real reason
Born Away in a Manger, We Three Kings, Bethlehem
Three French hens, et cetera

I’m not too religious, don’t get me wrong
Who’s Taylor Swift?
I’ll give you Pong

Bah, bah, humbug
Aye carumba!
Bah, bah, humbug…

(Fade out…)