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Song Parodies -> "All Gang Signs"

Original Song Title:

"Auld Lang Syne"

Original Performer:

Robert Burns

Parody Song Title:

"All Gang Signs"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

For all gang signs, I hear,
For all gang signs,
They all are simply mindless threat.
For all gang signs!

They're all so latant, should be naught,
They all should be declined,
They're all so blatant, take a shot,
Dyin' for gang signs.

So surely is you don't know poop,
Each time you flash a sign.
They'll kick your royal hind-ness, yet,
Out your gang mind.

You run about like you're half crazed,
Unplowed the coward's mind.
They'll kick your royal hind-ness, yet,
For all gang signs.

Go stick your signs right up your stern,
To where the sun don't shine.
What do you ever need them for?
Sling those gang signs.

Don't sign that hand with lusty sneer,
Just keep that hand in line.
So, why do you do this silly lot?
Dyin' for gang signs?

For all gang signs, I hear,
For all gang signs,
They all are simply mindless threat.
For all gang signs!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 31

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 8
 8
 
 2   1
 3
 1
 
 3   3
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   19
 19
 20
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - November 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Good!! And I don't know about gangs that well.
me - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
shut up
Lil_M - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
well i think its pretty dumb to tell u the truth....... u tryna make fun of gangs.. shiOt. u dont know what there reall about.. ur just on some bullshit..... but its str8 u can think what u want!! just watch ur back and make sure that no gang members read this sight and see that lil thing u wrote.... im out though!! u can write, just write about better stuff
Ashkicksass - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, Guy. You better make sure no gang members read this on AmIRight. Cause they would probably be throwing all SORTS of nasty gang signs up at their monitors! I would definitely watch my back if I were you. In fact, I'm a little scared myself. I gave you 5's on this, but I just want you to know that I'm going immediately into the voter protection program now.
Arwen - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
As one of the founding members of the notorious Rivendell Ruffians, I can tell you this, Ashkicksass...there's no place you can hide...we'll find you...and you're little dog, too. Oh wait...nevermind. Nice work, Guy...
Wife of a thug - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Lil_M is so right and I suggest you read her comment again because she's keepin it real. But it's too late for not letting any gang members see this, because I just did, and if my man or my gang see this, I think you might wanna watch out.
Ashkicksass - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Um...I know I'm a complete moron sometimes, but Wife of a Thug, what exactly is your man or your gang going to do?
Arwen - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Just make sure you've got your spamguard on, Guy & Ashkicksass...I think you both might be in for a drive by penis enlargment ad!
Ashkicksass - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
ROTFLMAO!
Arwen - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Just as long as you're ROTFLYAO with your Kevlar vest on...Safety first, Sister!
Arwen - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I am pretty sure I need a brain enLARGment. I can't believe I spelled that wrong...
Wife of a thug - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Look, what I was saying, is that it's dangerous to talk like that about gangs, in case ya'll don't know. And of course I can't really do much about it because I don't know where you are. I could probably find out, but I don't really care to spend my time uselessly. The other part of what I was saying is the person talking about gangs like this better hope they don't meet one on the street, especially mine, because this kind of shit is not cool. And I think everyone knows that, which is why they all sit behind their computers and say shit like this. I can guarantee you if any of you who are talking this shit ever saw a gang on the street you would NOT say that to them.Now, personally, I don't have anything against any of you who commented on my comment, even though you were all making fun of what I said. Because I'm not going to sit behind my computer and talk shit. Nor should any of you. Because I have other things to do, and it's very sad if all you can do is sit behind a computer and talk about dicks. I came here to write parodies, not start a war or talk shit about any of you, I think there are a lot of good parodies on this site, and you are all obviously very talented, so why waste your time like that? Well, anyone who wants to can write back. but I'm outtie for now, so peace.
Crip_4_Life - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Mindess threat, huh? Come meet us on the streets.
Wife of a thug - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
See? I told you.
Ashkicksass - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I came here to read and write parodies too. But when I see someone like you or Lil_M telling a parody author to watch his back, I call bullshit. You guys were the ones that were talking shit to Guy. I just called you out on it. And yes, we were making fun of you. Because that's what people do here. So please lighten up...
Wife of a thug - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok point taken. But can you at least try to understand why I said that? Because some people who are in gangs get very upset. But really, I just hope we can all just get along anyway.
Arwen - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
This is seriously the most entertaining stream on the site for me.
Wife of a thug - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah. Besides the Away in a manger parody by Shannon Vance. They took it off, but there were a lot of comments, and they were most amusing.
Ashkicksass - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
They took it off? Damn, I wanted to go and read the rest of the comments!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I e-mailed Chuck and asked him to take it off.
Wife of a thug - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah I know I wanted to read the rest of them too but it sure as hell caused a lot of shit. lol. So.. this is for 'Your Worst Nightmare'... Since that one was taken off the site I don't know if you got what I wrote back to you, because I wrote it at like 2 am, I stay up pretty late and what I wrote to you is: Yes I am a girl... lol and I know Frankie is a guys name too. BUT what i was saying is we should keep in touch on here, so anyway write me back.:) Peace, Frankie
Arwen - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I didn't see any of it. What was it about?
Wife of a thug - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
The song was about Jesus masturbating... (I hate to even write that) And the comments were mostly people who supported the song and people who didn't like it because it's stupid blasphemous trash. The people who were sticking up for the song were like "Oh it's cool" and blah blah blah and some of us got called relegious freaks for sticking up for Jesus, and I said that you don't have to be a relegious freak to love God. So that was that.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok, Frankie! Ya know, I'm often accused of being a "Jesus Freak" and "being on my moral highhorses". To this I say, what's wrong with that? I would accept that as a compliment! :-)
Arwen - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Am I the only one who would have put "Wife of a thug" and "Your Worst Nightmare" on the VERY bottom of my "most likely to become friends" list? Not that it's a bad thing...
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
What are you talking about, Arwen?
Wife of a thug - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
So are ya gonna tell me what your name is? I told you mine. Over here it's raining and I WAS gonna go for a walk but I guess I'm not now. Ha. So whats the weather like whereever you are? And where are you anyway? Well, write. ~Frankie
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
My name... Since you told me yours, I would tell you mine, but I don't want EVERYONE to know. I like Your Worst Nightmare better than Marshal anyway, and-- Oops, I just blurted it out. ;-)
Your Worst Nightmare - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
For your other questions, a storm may have just ended and I am in Alabama.
Wife of a thug - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Marshal? I've never known anyone named that. It's cute. How old are you? You don't have to tell me, I'm just curious. So what have you been doing tonight? I haven't been doing much... reading, watching TV, talking on the phone a little. I really really wanna get to the beach this summer cuz if I don't I think I'll die. It's kinda fun talking back and forth like this... what have you been up to latley?
Wife of a thug - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Dude marshal where you at? I'm grouchy right now. It's like 12 30 but I'm not tired and I have nothing to do and I wanna go out somewhere but everyone I know is either drunk somewhere or gone and I'm sitting here being bored. So. Thats that. I hope you write me soon. ~Sweet 'Lil Frankie~
Your Worst Nightmare - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
To answer your questions:

1. 13
2. Well, now it is morning, but I was doing fine last night. :-)
3. Just the normal comic reading and posting on AmIRight.
4. Once again, I'm in Alabama.

So, now I'll just ask you the same questions you asked me. BTW, I went swimming yesterday and slept in my bathing suit. lol :-p
Michael McVey - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, I had to flash a 5-5-5 at you. Are we going to see a reprise of this one on New Year's Eve? -- MM
Wife of a thug - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Haha. You slept in your bathing suit? Well, thats different. Tee hee. I haven't gone swimming yet this summer. But I am hoping to soon. Where did you go swimming? Do you have a pool or something? I wish I did. My neighbors do and they invited me over whenever I want to but I haven't got around to it yet. You're 13? Hmm... Well to answer your questions, I am 15, will be 16 in October, and I live in New York State. Well, I hope to hear from you soon, tell me about your day. Do you have any pets or anything? I have 2 black cats. I just got up, here it's like 1 30 pm. I sleep way late. Well I'm out for now. ~Sweet Lil Frankie~
Your Worst Nightmare - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, I've actually done it several times lately. My trunks are just so comfortable! lol Yes, I have a pool. I think it is about 11 feet deep in the deep end and three feet deep in the shallow end. I have two cats. One of them is Kit, probably senile and is 17 or 18 years old. She is a ragdoll, with mostly white fur, but a gray face. She has no feline dignity, and sleeps with her legs spread out, belly in the air. It's pretty funny. I think my parents found her a little before I was born, and her former users abused her, so she is scared of almost everything. Our other one is Emily. We used to have a dog named Barkley and my mom and brother took him to the vet and noticed her. The vet had found her on the road, and her tail was run over by a truck. We named her Cindy, but the name wore off after a year. We had went on a month vacation and didn't see her for months when we came back. We finally noticed her in the neighbor's yard, but they had named her Emily, and lo and behold, that is her name today. She is pure evil. Or maybe she is dumb. I don't know. Often times, she will expose her belly for me to rub, which she enjoys for a few minutes, then she snaps and bites my hand. That would be a dumb factor, seeing as everytime she does that, she gets a sore rear. She also has an Evil Foot. The Evil Foot is her archnemesis. Sometimes, while she is trying to scratch her head, the Evil Foot kicks her face. Usually, she detects the Evil Foot immediately, grabs it, and attacks it. We haven't seen the Evil Foot for weeks, though. Anyways, sorry if I'm boring you, but I like to talk about my weirdo cats a lot. :-) Oh, and as far as my day, I've been helping my dad with yardwork. I've had a nice day.
Wife of a thug - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Hi! No you weren't boring me. It was fun to hear about your cats. One of my cats, his name is Jack, he always has me rub his belly for a few minutes too and then bites me, like your cat, and I always smack him too. And also in common with our cats, I foulnd Jack a few years ago, and he was a stray. Now this next part is going to sound very wierd, but just bear with me. On some level I can talk to cats. Not have a conversation with them, you know, but I can understand what they're saying, like I can hear their thoughts. Is that wierd? Anyway, Jack told me that his owners took him to the vet and had him declawed and then they moved away and left him there. It was winter, and he was so skinny and pathetic looking and he had a huge gash down his back. My step father didn't want him in the house because we already had a cat (That would be Mookie) and he is really territorial. But I used to sneak Jack inside and feed him when no one was home and my mom put a box on our porch for him. She put fur coats, down blankets, and quilts in there and she put a little flap on it that she would close so he would be warm. She used to stay up most of her nights running rice socks out to him to keep him warm. In case you don't know, those are when you put rice in a sock and you put it in the microwave to heat it up and it's like a heating pad. So she used to put those in his little box. Finally my step father said we could keep him, and my mother named him Jack because of the whole box thing. (You know, Jack in the box.) And his previous owners were very cruel to him, also, like one of your cats, and so he's also scared of everything. I like that part about the evil foot. Thats pretty funny. Wow, what do you know, my step father was doing yard work too. But I didn't help. Ha ha. So anyway. My other cat. His name is Mookie and he is real old. He's about 10 years old. He's such a sweet cat, although if he doesn't have his nap he is very grumpy. He likes to follow me everywhere. We have a path leading to a back part I guess you could call part of our yard and everytime I go back there he follows me. Well now I think I'm boring YOU so I'm gonna go. Write me! ~Frankie~
Your Worst Nightmare - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
No, you are not boring at me all! lol Jack in the Box! That was a clever way of naming him! My older sister named Kit, and I guess it's because she's a cat. Get it? "Kit Cat" But that is just my guess. Mookie is a strange name, but I think I've heard of it before. We've also had two kittens, but they disppeared. It was a few summers ago, my mom's best friend's cat had three kittens and we got two of them. I named one of them Juliet, because it was orange with darker orange stripes and looked just like a neighborhood cat we called Romeo because he pursuited all the female cats, including ours. In fact, most of the cats in our neighborhood now look like Romeo, and I don't think it is a coincidence. Anyways, my brother named the other cat Angel. It had creme colored fur. We have a summer house at the beach, and that was where we had them. One day, my dad went back to our other house, and when he called Emily, Juliet showed up in front of him. Evidently, she had hitched a ride with him clinging on to the bars on the top. I can't remember what they are called, although I know they are supposed to hold luggage. Then after we all came home, including Angel, they disappeared in no time. We all had a pretty good idea. Emily. She HATES other cats, especially kittens, and started several fights with my sister's kitten, Rebel. This was a case of feline homocide. I confronted Emily with this, and she replied innocently, "Meow?". Oh yeah, I never mentioned how Emily and Kit loathe each other. They are VERY terrirtorial, Emily's territory being the front yard, and Kit's territory being the back yard. Kit usually minds her place, but Emily is constantly in the back yard, causing much tension. As sick as this sounds, it is pretty fun watching them fight. Sometimes they start emitting a very low-pitched sound gradually rising in octave until it is very high-pitched. One time they both slept not very far from each other, and as soon as Kit woke up, the first thing she saw was Emily, and she attacked her. Emily had no idea what was coming and received a rude awakening. I've seen one sneak up on the other, and pouncing. BANZAI! lol BTW, I've never heard of rice socks. Emily used to follow me everywhere, but now she just looks at me with a bored, descending look and falls asleep.
Wife of a thug - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
My cat Mookie used to do the same thing to Jack when he was sleeping. But now, I think they kinda like each other. I definaltey wouldn't go so far as to say love, but at least they're getting along now. I have been puttering around the house not really doing much of anything. I had to marinate some porkchops we're having for dinner and I'm planning on leaving them there for a few hours until maybe 6 or 6 30. I've been watching a little TV. And I walked Mookie. (He told me he wanted to go to the back so I took him.He just follows. No leash or anything... lol.) Well, since I've started a couple topics you start one. What do you want to know about me?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, well, I don't see any mutual friendship between Emily and Kit. They have slept very close to each other though. I don't know what is in store for dinner, but I hear the microwave beeping. My annoying little brother just bonked me on the head. He hates the idea of someone besides him being on the computer for a while. He spends several consecutive hours playing computer games. Anyways, you walked a CAT?? I've always considered that Mission Impossible. I salute you. My cats wouldn't go for anything of the sort. Their exercise comes from hunting. Birds, lizards, sticks, you name it, they hunt it, especially Emily. So, how did you come up with the name "wife of a thug"? I thought for a while what I wanted my alias to be when I made my first comment. I remember the first movie I saw in the movie theater, Mulan, there was this puny dragon guy. A Hun asked him who he was, and he smiled devilishly and said "Your...Worst...NIGHTMARE!" Somehow, after 7 years, that phrase is still stuck in my head, so that is the name I used.
Wife of a thug - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah it sounds like you have a pretty annoying brother.My brother used to do stuff like that to me. He was horrible. He used to put rubberbands on the floor and tell me if I stepped on one it would snap my toe off and I believed him so I sat on the couch for like 4 hours. And this one time. He finally got what he deserved. The stupid ass put a bunch of tacks under the bed and he went under the bed and came out with one stuck in his head. Honest. I couldn't stop laughing. I've always considered it impossible to walk a cat, too, but Mookie follows mw almost everywhere and I'm just about the only one he listens to. Okay. So you want to know how I came up with 'Wife of a thug.' It KILLS me to talk about this and I've never talked to anyone about it except a real close friend. But you asked so here it goes. I was engaged to this guy, and you wouldn't believe how much I loved him. He did so many bad things but I didn't really care because I was a bad ass too. Doing all kinds of stupid shit. At first he told me he loved me so much, would never let go. Then On Christmas Day he gave me an engagement fring with 14 diamonds in it. We did everything together, I met his family, and his mom, his dad, his friends, My parents loved him, his parents loved me. i thought it was perfect. But then there were the drugs. On New Years I called him and he was high off of a variety of things. (The reason i didn't yell at him for it is because there wasn't a second in the day I was sober either.) and he yelled at me for nothing and called me a bitch and told me fuck off. SO I hung up and the next day he said Oh I'm so sorry and blah blah. Foolishly I said it's ok. Then the Day after New Years I had him over to my family's house for dinner. We argued about something so small i don't even remember what it was and he punched me in the lip. I was bleeding all over and he said "Jesus, now they're going to think I hit you." He handed me a tissue and he said "Here, clean it up." I looked up at him and I spat blood at him and I said "Fuck you." Then we made up. And again, i forgave him. Then he ran up his dads credit card bill from buying ecstacy and he hung himself. He was on 28 tabs of X when he did it. He didn't succeed. I got the call at 9 30 pm from his best friend saying "Did you hear about Josh?" I said 'No.' And then he told me. I was calling the hospital every 5 minutes and when they didn't tell me anything because he wasn't family I told them I was his wife. They said he was in bad condition but if he made it through the night he would be alright. So I stayed up all night and in the morning I got a call saying he was in a mental hospital. I went over there as soon as I heard that, but I looked like hell because my eyes were red from staying up crying all night. He looked at me and held my hand and told me he was sorry. I said I know. And I hugged him, and told him everything would be alright. I went to see him every day for 3 weeks and I called him every chance I could. Then a week after he got out he was arrested for poeession of Marijuana and cocaine. He got 4 months because his family is very well off and I suppose he has a very good lawyer. He did 5, because of all the fights he was geting in. I wrote everyday. he wrote back twice. I had a dream that he left me for a black girl he met in jail. 5 months later he called me and told me he wanted his ring back. This way only a few days ago when he told me that. WHile he was in jail I made up this name (Wife of a thug) and The reasons are all here in black and white. Mostly because we were going to get married and because I signed into the hospital and the mental hospital as his wife. And the other half, because he was a thug. You know that from what you just read. He put me through Hell and I'll never be the same, but I'm working on it. And I find the strength I need in God. I can't talk about this anymore because it's making me want to just go to bed. I used to sleep all day. But I'm going to go for a walk. Now you know more about me, maybe enough to understand where I'm coming from. And I think I'm going to change to "Frankie" instead of "Wife of a thug" because Igotta let go. Write me. ~Sweet Lil Frankie~
Your Worst Nightmare - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow. Your name obviously has a lot more background than mine. You deserved better than him. Reading your comment, I can't quite tell whether you still have feelings for him or not, but he certainly did not sound like a good guy. So, if you still do have feelings for him, you need to realize that he is not a good person, and that although you can forgive him, you can not have a relatonship with him. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

As for your brother, you have a much different kind of annoying. Mine is annoying in the sense that he gets away with so much, is a tattletale, and says the stupidest things. BTW, he is 11. When he doesn't get his way, he screams in an EXTREMLY loud and EXTREMELY high pitched voice that I'm surprised doesn't break the sound barrier. Especially the high pitched part. He can scream higher than a girl. Your brother seems to me the kind of evil older brother that tricks you into thinking things that aren't true. My other siblings are a severely mentally retarded 20 year old brother that we are looking for a special home for, and a 23 year old married half-sister. My sister, by the time I was old enough to be bullied (5, I guess), was too mature to bother around with a younger sibling. And I've always had sense not to start anything, so the only annoyance is my little brother. He is always nagging me, in fact, I was watching a marathon of Boy Meets World, which my mom said I couldn't watch when I was nine, and he went immediately telling my mom. She, of course, didn't really give a flip. When I was nine, she said I was too young for it, because it had to do with dating, etc., but in the episode I was watching, the characters were younger than me. Also, when I was telling you my name, he, of COURSE, was watching me, and he protested that I wasn't supposed to give out my name on the web. The conversation went something like this: "Hey, you're not supposed to say your name!" "Why not?" "Ma doesn't want us to!" "No, she only means full name. People can't ever find me if I only use my first name." "Maybe not, but you aren't allowed to give out your name!" "Grrrr.... Only my last name I can't say." "Uh-uh, she said your name." "Why would she care if I gave out my first name?" "I don't KNOW, ask HER!" Since I usually don't do anything bad that could cause me to be tattled on, he comes up with poor excuses. Man, he is annoying! Tell me more about your brother. And why was he putting tacks under the bed? I mean, even if it was a prank, I don't think it would affect you unless you went under the bed. BTW, did you notice when you said that, you rhymed? lol
Son Of Sam - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, my neighbor's dog used to talk to me and tell me to kill people. Has your cat told you to kill anyone lately?
Frankie - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey marshal. Sorry I've been a while. It's Sunday and I just got back from staying the night with a friend who's going to be moving to Florida on friday. I wanted to say goodbye to her, but those 2 days were the woest of my life. She made me go to a church that isn't my relegion and I was pissed because of it. The damn thing was 3 hours long and it wasn't Catholic, which I am and I was so upset I was in front of the church screaming cuss words. And she called my mom and she was like "She's embarrasing me." So I went home and I finally said Lets not be mad, I love you. But I was very upset, because I don't think God would want to be worshipped the way that church worshipped. And I'm still pissed. Today is Father's day and I can't see my real dad because he's an alchoholic/drug addict and that made me even sadder because we used to go to church every sunday together. I decided it was best if I didn't see him anymore, so the choice was mine but only because the last time I saw him he was on crack and he threw a wime bottle at me. Anyway, my day is shit so far and I'm fucking pissed off. Thankyou for those kind words about Josh and how I deserved better. I know that but it makes me feel better when someone else says them. As for my brother. You wanted to know about him more. Right now It seems as though he is following in the footsteps of my dad because he is a 17 year old drug dealer (Crack, heroin, pot) and he uses a LOT. Before when I used to do it with him I told him to just get lost because I wanted to stay clean and he wasn't helping by storing the shit in my room and getting me arrested. So thats him now. And I don't know why he put tacks under the bed, I think he was just doing it to be a smart ass little kid. But it served him right to get one in his head. I'm sorry to hear that your brother screams in a annoying high pitched voice. i have a friend who is a guy and he is 16 and he does that if he doesn't get his way. How's that for pathetic? Well I'm gonna go. Write me soon. Hugs* Frankie
Frankie - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I have really bad allergies at the moment and I'm sneezing and I feel like crap. I'm gonna take a nap. If you write I'll write you back by 9. I haven't heard from you at all today.
Frankie - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Well Buddy I'm going to bed I hope you had a nice fathers day. I did for the most part. (If you read my above entries you'll know what I mean.) To close the night one of my friends said they saw my ex fiance (The one I was telling you about) in Newark with a 30 year old woman who drives a red porsche and who had a huge diamond on her finger. I guess they were making out. Well he's 18 now so he's legal but thats still nasty and all I wanna do is go to bed and not think. Hear from you tomorrow? Nite. Frankie
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry I haven't been able to reply. My mom issued a decree through the house that the computer would not be touched. First, let me say that you have a very dysfunctional family. I can't even begin, because I was shocked at what I read. I mean no offense at all, but your brother and your father are committing crime as well as sin when they deal drugs and when one throws a glass at you. I'm not sure how you could be able to deal with them, or if that is possible, but you aren't living a healthy and Christian life living with them. Actually, going through your comment again, I think you live with just your mom which is definitely best. You also shouldn't be cursing in church. It is disrespectful of God. By the way, what kind of a church was this? You said that they didn't worship the way God wanted people. Was it one of those Pentecostal churches where they writhe on the floor? Anyways, I'm Protestant. There are two kinds of Protestant churches, Arminian and Calvinist. Most of them are Arminian. I am Calvinist. Calvinism is about predestination. Since God is omnipotent and omniscient, he has a plan, right? We believe that God chose who would be saved even before the beginning of time. We also believe that human nature is very sinful. We believe in the wrath of God as well as the mercy of God. You might notice that some churches portray God as a tame lion that you can take for granted. And how can anyone fear a tame lion? Anyways, the particular kind of church I go to is reformed presbyterian. I hope your cold gets better soon.
Frankie - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
No, I don't talk to my dad or my brother, and yes I live with my mom. Things are fine here. It's just my dad thats crazy. And his wife is even worse. But anyway, I think the church I was at was a Christian church... but I'm Catholic. (You probably already knew this but they are VERY different from each other.) I know I shouldn't have been swearing in front of a church, but I was really mad. Anyway, it's over now. Which is a good thing. Yeah, I've heard of your relegion... In fact I just took my global regents (10th grade) and we had to write an essay on Martin Luther and John Calvin and what each of them believed. So I'm pretty familiar with that. Why did your mom say no one could touch the computer? Anyway, I think I'm going to have a friend over here around like 11 or so. Well write me about something good that we can talk about.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I just made my comment, but my little brother AKA Prince of Darkness turned it off because I was making fun of him. What a brat, eh? Anyways, it is not a religion, but a denomination that is Calvinism. And I am aware of the many differences between denominations, especially between Protestant and Catholic. Since we are looking for a new topic to discuss, have you ever heard of Archie comics? They are usually sold with the magazines next to the cash register. They aren't like most comics, but are about the misadventures of teens.
Frankie - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
No, I haven't ever heard of those... Maybe they don't have them here. Do you but them? That seems interesting. When I was little I was a tom boy, I still am, and my dad used to buy me all sorts of comics, I would read them all the time. But I haven't read any in quite a while. Well, here it's about noon and my friend isn't here yet, he was suppose to be here by 11, and it's annoying me, and he doesn't answer his phone. It sounds like your brother is pretty mischevious. Prnice of darkness... lol.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Not mischievous, but takes offense to anything, and will kick me in the rear or say "dingbat" or, as I said earlier, scream in a loud high-pitched voice if he doesn't get his way. He was really mad when I called him prince of darkness. Here he is now reading what I'm saying. "No, I don't!" I'm quoting him as he speaks. BTW, get some Archie comics, you won't regret it. They are awesome.
Frankie - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow. That's pretty wild. Yeah I'll see if I can get some. They sound cool enough. I'm just sitting here, looking for something to do, and my friend never showed up, I think he's doing something to help his mom or something but I'm not positive. At least I hope thats what he's doing because if he stood me up I'll just get even madder. So your brother reads what you write, huh? Doesn't that get annoying? Well I have a little sister and I know how that is... You're older, so you get in trouble when they do something wrong, because you're older, and it's your fault they do the things they do because you don't set a good example. Know what I mean? I got told that all the time. And I would get so mad because it definatley wasn't me. My sister just never listened, because what little kid does? It that how it is with your brother? Well, I've been occupying my afternoon by watching movies and playing with my cats. What have you been doing? Oh yeah and BTW I submitted another parody. I used the name 'Frankie' so I'll let you know when it gets posted and maybe we can start writing on that, ok? But wait until I tell you to that way I'll know where to check.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, they aren't supposed to be action and adventure, but just funny. Every now and then, though, they have some kind of adventure story or something off the wall. There is this one kind of story they use a lot, where almost everything is an acronym. "S.E.C.R.E.T. agents A.R.C.H.I.E. and J.U.G.H.E.A.D. are at it again!" It is pretty funny. Oh yeah, and my little brother reads what I write all the time. He tried to "report an innappropriate comment" where I called him annoying. And I often get in trouble for what he does, although he might also get in trouble. Once, I was laying on the floor watching TV, when he jumped on my back and I couldn't breathe. I kept yelling at him to get off, and I said, "*****, get your damn butt off of me!" (The asterisks stand for his name, because he doesn't want me to tell you) I got in trouble for saying "damn" and he didn't get in trouble. Darn.
Frankie - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
You get in trouble for swearing? Haha. Anyway yeah I just watched this really good movie, it's one of my favorites, it's called River Wild and it was really good. So what are you going to do during the summer? You gonna hang out with friends or anything? I probably will, once I find out what they're all doing. So tell me about what you usually like to do. I'm going to walk the cat now, so I'll talk to you later. By the way I do think that story is funny about you getting in trouble for saying damn.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I would get in trouble for swearing, but I don't swear, except in private. I don't consider the word "damn" to be a swear. The Bible uses the word, for Pete's sake. I don't understand how mild "cursing" is worse than suffocating and major annoyance. If I get my finger slammed in a door, "Oh, crackerdoodles" just doesn't cut it. Oh well. I think my favorite movie is Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark. I like comedy movies, mostly, but Indiana Jones rocks. I've never heard of River Wild. I never do much during the summer, except read a light book, use the computer, swim in the pool, and maybe gain weight. Our family isn't big on vacations. The only vacations we take are to the beach, which, where I live, is very close by. Not to mention I don't care for the beach. I'd rather swim in a pool, without all the jellyfish, sharp shells, etc. Once we took a trip to Texas in the wintertime (BRRRRR!) to visit my sister.
Frankie - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I know what you mean about the whole swearing concept. But I swear constantly, so I would swear if I got my finger slammed in a door, or if I didn't. lol. And I like the part about how you said you don't usually swear... except in private. I thought that was kinda funny. I like Indiana Jones and the Lost Ark. That's a good movie. How many Indiana Jones movies have you seen? I've seen 2 or 3. That's kinda cool that you have a beach not far from your house. Shit, if I did I'd be there everyday. I like to swim at the beach, but like you, I prefer a pool for the same reasons. I do like the beach though, for tanning and to play with the sand. Once I went last year with a friend of mine and I put sand down his pants, but it wasn't all sand, it was some dirt too, and I guess there was some red ants in the dirt. OOPS.
Frankie - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I just got a job babysitting for my neighbors kids when they're in the pool and no-one's home, because he wants someone older to be with them. The best part of all is that I can put on my bathing suit and tan and I can read while I tan or I can go in the pool and my neighbor said I can even bring a friend with me! How cool is that! And they're gonna pay me for it! That is so cool. They're going to get back to me by the end of the week, but I can't wait. Really, I've always wanted a baby sitting job, but this is better! I don't really even have to do anything. He said all I have to do is stop them from killing each other. So I've developed a system. I'm going to give them two warnings and on the second warning if they don't listen to what I'm saying it's out of the pool. My neighbor said if they get too bad I can tell them to get out. So thats my system. But I think they'll be good, because they're good kids. Well I'll talk to you later.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL, yeah. I didn't even notice the humor with the whole cursing thing until you mentioned it. I've seen all the Indiana Jones flicks, including some of the Young Indiana Jones movies. Have you heard of those? There are like 25 movies entitled "The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones". In the movie, Indy is in his late teens and early twenties. That's why at some libraries or video stores, you'll pick up an Indiana Jones video and it will say Vol. 28, because it is counting the Young Indiana Jones adventure series. I can't wait 'til the new movie comes out. Since Harrison Ford is so old now, the movie will take place in the fifties instead of the thirties. The beach close to where I live isn't exactly across the street. It is about an hour drive. Remember the summer house I told you about? My dad inherited it from his aunt and uncle and we usually spend the majority of summer there....with...no...Internet....and...many...many...MANY...cockroaches, dead and alive. I was laying on my bed, and a cockroach on the wall jumped and landed on my chest. It scared me half to death. Often times when we arrive at the summer house, I need to brush off the cockroach body parts off of my sheets. Gross, huh? Anyways, it is an hour's drive from the house we USUALLY live in. I sound rich when I say that. "Then next week, we're going to our house in Brooklyn... By the way, the bank called and said that they have nowhere to store my enormous amount of cash. Being marvelously rich like I am has its downfalls! Ahh, Jeeves, would you get that?" lol
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Congratulations on your babysitting job! I babysit my little brother sometimes, but it usually goes something like this: "*****, put down that chair" "No." "Yes, *****, you have to do it." "NO." "I'm warning you, PUT DOWN THAT CHAIR." "I don't want to!" "I'm warning you, seriously!" "Nooooooo!" *I punch him in the face* *he cries* "Why'd you DO that!? I'm TELLING!" "Hey, you wouldn't do what I told you to!" "Well, you're not supposed to PUNCH me!" *he kicks me in the shin* "AHHHHH!!!!!" *chases him around the house* 1 hour and a half later... *parents walk in* "Ma, Ma, as soon as you left, he punched me for no reason!" *starts sobbing* "What the!??" "It seems you two aren't mature enough to stay home alone." "...but..." "Uh-UH, Marshal is just being a dingbat!" It doesn't go like that all the time though. I hope you do better. Not that you could do worse.
Frankie - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
No I've never seen those. Sounds interesting. The whole cock roach epidemic sounds kinda gross.And you still have to go there? So when do you go? You know what though? I like cock roaches, because I EAT THEM! Just kidding. I think they're pretty nasty. Thanks for the congrats on my job. I've been waiting for one so I could save money to buy a car which I could really use, but I haven't looked for one. I suppose I've been waiting for one to fall into my lap. I'm going to have my friend Ally come over and help me. Maybe we'll go swimming, too. So I was just wondering, what time do you go to bed? Just so I know how late to write you. I go to bed at like 2 or 3 usually. I stay up late. I sleep late, too. The other day I slept until 1pm. Well. My cold is really kicking my ass. So. Write me.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah, I was pessimistic about my babysitting experiences. That only happened once or twice. Usually, everything goes well. Hey, you eat cockroaches too? I thought I was the only one!! Crunchy, eh? lol 13 year olds, such as myself, have very low chances of getting a job. I scan the classifieds every now and then under part time jobs, but to no avail. My parents make me to go to bed around 9:30 or 10:00, but I never really get to sleep until 1. I've got to tell you, those three hours in bed, staring at the wall, are not fun. My mom turns off the computer at 9. You are lucky for being allowed to stay up late. If I had a choice, I would go to bed somewhere around midnight or one o'clock. I can't believe how late you sleep too. My mom would be tearing down the door if I was still asleep at 10. My day is usually like this.

7:00 - I wake up, look at the clock, and fall back asleep 7:30 - I wake up, determined to get out of bed, but I rest my eyes for a little and fall asleep 8:00 - I wake up again, struggling to get out of bed, but I feel too tired 8:30 - I get up, go downstairs, eat breakfast, watch TV, etc. 11:00 - Still in my flannel pajama pants and T-shirt with something that says something like "Go Dodgers", I change into a bathing suit and swim 11:45 to 3:00, whenever I stop swimming - I stop swimming, grab a towel, dry off and go inside 10:00 - I go to bed, still wearing my bathing suit.

Notice in all of this, I never change into normal dayclothes. That has been my summer vacation lately. Sleeping in my bathing suit. BTW, I am currently wearing my bathing suit, as the above paragraph implied I would. Excuse me as I go taste some more of those scrumptious cockroaches. Yum!
Frankie - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, the cock roaches are very crunchy. That's what makes them so good. Hey did you see that one comment by some person who said their dog asked them to kill people and they wanted to know if our cats asked us to do any of that? I was like woah dude. Thats messed up. Oh yeah, I remember when I was 13. I was pissed because I couldn't get a job and now I'm old enough to actually get one and I don't want one. But I need the money so I gotta. It goes like that. I can't believe you have a bed time. I used to have a bed time until i was about 11 or 12, (Mine was 9:oo and then 9:3o) And then my parents just gave up because I wasn't listening to them anyway. I even used to have a "shower time" which was at 7:oo because if they didn't make me do it, I wouldn't have done it. (This too stopped when I wasn't paying any attention anymore) Ha-ha. That must suck, staring at the wall for three hours. Man if I had to do that I'd probably climb out my window or something. I can't stand being told to stay somewhere, like being ordered to my room, I flip out, because I feel like I'm in a cage. I get very upset when someone tries to take away my freedom. Because I've had it happen all too often. Yeah, I know I'm lucky for bring able to stay up late. I usually do my own thing, whatever I want. I guess you could say I'm a rebel. I can relate, there was a time when my mom would have kicked my ass too if I slept as late as I do now, but I think the territory comes with getting older, you know what I mean? And part of it, is probably that I never listened about staying up or going to bed either. On school nights I would stay up until 1 or so and then I would sleep in the classes I didn't like. Kinda surprising that your mom turns off the computer at 9. But I guess ya gotta have rules. Rules can be good. Well at least now I know you can't write after 9 so I won't be checking back here all night. I can usually get on the computer at any hour I want to. But now I think I'm gonna go. So, nite. ~Sweet Lil Frankie~ PS Does your brother read what I write too? lol.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh yeah, I remember that comment. That...was pretty messed up. Then again, here we are sitting, eating cockroaches, so I don't think we're much better. ;-) Yeah, I know, I'm too old to have a bedtime. I never bother to ask them any of these questions, because the answer is always, "Because I said so." Never had a showertime, though. I'm allowed to take three showers a day, or once a week, just whenever I feel like it. I do get burned for spending too much time in the shower, though. I mean, not physically burned, except sometimes, but you know what I mean. Last night, my three hours were mercifully cut unto about one and a half. I pass the time sometimes by reading, or pacing around on the floor until I get dizzy. Once I wrote a parody at about midnight, after a few hours of boredom. http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/brentburns0.shtml It is a [arpdy of Livin' The Life (Jimmy Buffet Only Wrote About)", called No-Abortion, as a parody of Pro-Abortion. It is about how horrible abortion is. Anyways, I know what you mean, being stuck in a cage. That's EXACTLY what it feels like. My parents would have my hide if I crawled out the window, though. :-) Here is my brother now. He reads what I write and often what you write. He's wearing a red tank top and silk gym shorts. He says he prefers the term "sleeveless shirt".
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Haha. I laughed for a while when I read that. Sleeveless shirt. Why do you spend so much time in the shower? Just wondering. lol. That's lovely. Pacing around the floor until you get dizzy. You know I used to do that in my computer chair. I wiuld spin and spin and I would try to get up and smash into the kitchen wall, and my mom would ask me if I was on drugs again. It's about 12 here and I just got up, but I am totally awake and hyper. And speaking of that I'm going to go make some coffee. BTW if I gave you my cell phone number do you think you would be able to call me?
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok I just saw your comment on my other parody. If you want to write there write me back to these 2 comments on that.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I've spun around in the computer chair before. I tend to spend a lot of time in the shower, because I love hot water. I wish there was a swimming pool that had hot water, but not hot as a hot tub. Speaking of that, I remember when I was almost 12, I was so excited about being old enough to get in the hot tub at this condominium that we go to. I had been waiting to use it since I was 6. But alas.... "Your sister got staff disease!" She is my half-sister to be exact, and her dad let her borrow a small hot tub, and she got very sick. Furthermore, it has been brought to my attention that hot tubs can cause infertility. I didn't even need to know that one at all. Now I just stare at the hot tub at the condo, sighing and looking pitiful. Cruel, cruel world. My question is, why would someone get staff disease in a hot tub, where most germs would probably burn, but not in a pool? HUH!? I come up with these trivial questions all the time.

It is Central Time over here in Alabama. You are in Eastern. I just felt I needed to point that out. :-D lol And no, that's another thing that my parents would have my hide for. I can't even call my friends (not that you aren't a friend, but cyberfriend), unless I beg my mom for days to use the phone. I know, it's weird. I don't know why. She spends hours on the phone everyday. Very strict rules here.
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow! You can't use the phone? Awww... I wanted to hear your voice. *Frowns* I can't believe you can't call your friends. Can you hang out with them? Does she think that phones corrupt you or something? lol. Well what time is it in Alabama then? You guys are one hour ahead or are you one hour behind us? I can't remember. I didn't know that about hot tubs. Interesting. My mom and her boyfriend and me used to go to this place where you can reserve hot tubs and we went like almost every weekend. My mom is presently at the store getting me stuff for my new job. I need roll on wax. Lol. Don't ask. Haha I come up with questions like that all the time. I just take it as a sign that I'm bored as hell. So do you smoke or drink or anything like that? Not that I would expect you to. I'm just curious. And does your mom know that you and I are talking? Mine doesn't. She'd kill me and I'd probably never be able to use the computer again. Well, write.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm homeschooled, and I have been since 6th grade. Tell ya what, since you can't hear my voice, I'll give you a page with a picture of me from September 2, 2003! http://hometown.aol.com/toptrig12/myhomepage/profile.html I look different now, though. For one, my hair is in front of my eyes now. That picture was taken recently after I had a haircut. I hate haircuts. I like my hair shaggy. My eyes look brighter in the picture than they usually are. Looking close at it, it seems I have one blue eye and one brown eye. I have (both) blue eyes, although they change green, I guess in the light. There are other facial differences since then, but I can't put my finger on them. Anyways, I have no idea why I can't use the phone. My mom knows that I talk a lot on AmIRight, but I don't think she's seen this conversation. I don't smoke or drink. That would be pretty strange coming from a guy who isn't allowed to call people, wouldn't it? :-) Anyways, once again, just to bring up a new subject, I went on a three day youth retreat in March, and I fell out of a canoe... With my jeans and sweatshirt on... I awoke to the sound and smell of flatulence in my face. Yech. I also learned some interesting info about my youth group leader, such as that he started shaving at 12. Have you ever been on a group retreat before?
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Naw I haven't ever been to one of those. But it sounds pretty funny that you fell out of a canoe. Well. Do you have a girlfriend or anything? You look pretty cute. I'd be surprised if you didn't. Well I am talking on the phone with a friend I haven't seen for a long time so I'm gonna go but write me. Frankie
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
No, no girlfriend. And everyone else thought it was funny when I fell out of the canoe, too. It happened when we were paddling up to shore, and we were supposed to grab on to this bigger boat's railing, but when I grabbed it, I pushed the canoe farther away, until I was a bridge between the canoe and the bigger boat, and it drifted farther, then I fell. On the same day, I busted my butt on my friend's skimboard. Another fall, but much more painful. I vowed never to try a skimboard again. Of course, eventually, I'll forget all the pain and suffering of that time, and renew it with a new painful experience. Darn, I'm all out of cockroaches now. I'll have to settle for these beetles that crawled by. Anyways, have you ever made a homemade emoticon? I once waged an emoticon war with my best friend. It was a Kirby emoticon war to be exact. The normal Kirbies looked something like this. And then, we had different kinds of special Kirbies that I can't remember. This is my emoticon of a person who's really high. @_@ "I think that tree is trying to tell me something..."
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
No I've never made my own emoticon. But it was interesting to hear about your little adventures with yours. Well I just talked with a friend who I haven't talked to in a long time. But I tiold him to call me back so I could write you without distractions. Teehee. And he goes "Is that you typing on your keyboard that fast?" And I was like "Who else would it be? Santa Clause?" You know speaking of that I actually believed in Santa until I was like 11. And thats because my mother never told me he wasn't real! And she still says "If you don't believe in Santa he won't bring you presents." She's always trying to get me to go to bed early on Christmas eve so she can wrap the presents up and act like she's Santa Claus. And usually I respond with "Dude Santa is not real." So then she says the above that I told you she says. Off topic. Sorry I have a short attention span. lol. So. I am expecting my mom home soon and she's going to be mad that I ran the battery down on the phone. It's all good though. I'm kinda hungry and so I think I'm gonna go make lunch or something.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I never believed in Santa Clause. That's because my parents told me when I was, like, 4 that he wasn't real. They didn't want me to be disillusioned and they felt they would be lying to me if they said he was real. Plus, I think Santa has just commercialized Christmas too much. It is supposed to be celebrating Jesus Christ's birth. Anyways, 11 is pretty late to notice Santa isn't real. My little brother has an 11 year old friend who thinks Santa exists though. I look young for my age, which will be beneficial when I'm 40, but is a curse currently. I remember last year, my doctor asked me if Santa was nice to me. I just groaned and went, "Sure." I go off-topic too, lots of times, like how late you were supposed to check and see if I wrote anything eventually turned into a conversation of hot tubs. I said that my mom turned the computer off at 9, then you told me about when you had a shower time, I said I never had one of those, and that I liked to spend lots of time in the shower, then I started talking about hot tubs. Dave Barry, my favorite humorist, calls it a mutant topic. For instance, I am introducing a mutant topic when I brought up Dave Barry. That guy is hilarious. Have you ever heard of him or read his column? He once wrote an article about commercials during the Super Bowl that questioned men's manhood. Viagra commercials, commercials with strong men that always had to get to their rigs, whatever rigs are, that sort of thing. He calls it "rig envy" He wrote that article early this year, and yet it seems to be his catch phrase now. I even saw a Viagra ad that said "Got rig envy?" lol Oh yeah, I forgot to ask, when did your mother give up straining to convince you Santa is real?
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, for your question about when my mom gave up on trying to convince me about santa Claus, she never did. She still tells me he's real. And it's annoying, but at least I know that he's not real. And I completely agree that it's suppose to be a celebration of Jesus and his birth. It's not about all the presents you got, it's about helping sharing and loving. Yeah I've heard of Dave Barry. Funny guy. My cat just got in a fight and I had to chase after him. He likes to go after our neighbor's cats and their little dog. You look at Viagra ads? lol. i'm just messing with ya. Did your doctor really ask if Santa was nice to you? I get a kick out of that. I don't go to the doctor anymore because I used to always refuse to go but I was too young for my mom to even care that I didn't want to go so I went anyway, but then I was like 14 and I realized that I wasn't going anymore and I guess it was because the last few times I went I didn't cooperate. The doctor told me to put on that night gown type thing and I told him to go to Hell cuz I wasn't wearing that thing. So I suppose my mom realized it wouldn't do any good and was wasting her money besides. So now I don't have to go. Although no matter how many times I bitch and moan about going to the dentist, she always makes me go. However, the last time I went they tried to give me teeth x rays and I told them no (I am very insubordinent in case you couldn't tell) and they didn't even bother trying to make me. SCORE!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Aw, really!? You're 15, and your mom still tries to get you to believe in Santa Clause?? Sorry for sounding so ludicrously interested, but that's not normal. Or maybe she's just kidding around when she talks about Santa Clause. I remember a few years ago, my dad said something about Santa Clause coming, but he was just kidding. And NO, I don't like looking at-- Never mind. lol I remember getting spam mail about an Australia vacation, the allegedly best gay spot. What are these ads implying, anyway? Do they send these to people just to offend them? I'm NOT gay!! Whew. I just needed to express my angry outlet against spam. I don't get your beef with the dentist, though. Those x-rays aren't bad at all. I had one early this month. I just don't like those dentists that are probably drunk, and tend to slice your ear off with the drill. Ouch.
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't really have beef with the dentist, I just don't like people all up in my space, and thats how denists and doctors are because that's their job. Drunk dentists? OH! LMAO! Yeah I know it's not normal that my mom still tries to make me believe in Santa. Kinda creepy, huh? My cat is sleeping in my computer chair and therefore I can't really sit on it too well. Once when he was sleeping in the chair I went to sit on it to write you back and he woke up and stretched and pushed me off. I literally fell off because he pushed me! EVIL CAT!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I guess I know what you mean. But I don't want my teeth to get too cruddy, so I check with them. But I always make sure to smell their breath for alcohol. I like my ears just the way they are. Maybe you should tell your mom that Santa is supposed to bring toys. So what would he be doing with a fifteen year old? No, wait, that sounds dirty. But if your mom gives you a gift saying it somes from Santa Clause, mention that Santa is only supposed to make toys, not bracelets, or whatever she gives you. That is a hole in the Santa thing. You know how kids go, "Aw, Santa gave me underwear, when I wanted the (name of toy)!" Since when do the elves make underwear? Then you could ask how he visits all the houses in one night. "Magic", any parent would say. Then go deeper. "Magic isn't real. And doesn't the Bible not permit witchcraft?" That would probably stop any parent in their tracks. I remember, in first grade, the class was separated between Santa believers and non-Santa believers. Most of the boys didn't believe in Santa and most of the girls did. So we had these debates. How crafty I was. "Santa is real!" "No, he isn't!" "Yes, he is!" "No, he isn't!" "Yes, he is!" "Mushroom brain!" "Doo-doo head!" Oh, and speaking of evil cat, yesterday, I was KIND enough to let Emily in. You see, our cats are outside cats, but we occasionally let them in. She settled down, then rolled on her back, exposing her belly. I rubbed her belly for about five to ten minutes, which she particularly enjoyed, up until she bit me five times on the wrist. I grabbed her tail and yanked it. "MEOWWWWRRR!" She was crazy at this point. She kept trying to attack my arm, then she was biting my arm as I tried to grab her and throw her out. Have you had an outside cat? For the first year, Emily was an inside cat, but we loosed her outside.
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
My cats are both inside and outside cats. And I see your point in the whole Santa thing. By the way I am typing this on the floor because my cat is in the chair. My mom brought my roll on wax home and I just used it and oh boy I know why no one like to use it. I think the neighbors heard me screaming. OWWWWWW!!!!!!!! Once my best friend Joey went with this girl Mandy to get his eyebrows waxed because he thought that girls were being sissies and he thought he could handle it. Well don't ya know he was complaining about it for IDK how long. I said Dude I told you Beauty is pain.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Beauty is pain... Never heard that line. A month ago or so, I decided to not comb my hair except on Sundays. Actually, I think it kind of looks good mussed up. And why don't you move the cat? Is she one to bite? I know how to deal with moving cats that try to bite you when you touch them. You simply keep poking and pushing them and jerking your hand away when they try to bite. Eventually, the cat gets agitated and leaves.
had it - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Please, everybody on this so-called "thread". It is not a thread. It is a parody to be voted and commented on. If the conversation must go on, take it to the messageboard, e-mails, PM, anywhere but here. Do you even rember the original parody?
Your Worst Nightmare - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh no, not the same party-crasher from "Hittin' On EmiLoca"...
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey. Ok so I'm really pissed off right now because I can't stand people who front. And one of my friends "claims" to be in a gang but I KNOW he isn't. Because 1. There is no gang with the colors he described. 2. None of his stories make sense and I can see right through his lies. I'm totally pissed about that. He just called me on my cell to tell me that he's been gone for 2 days because he was in NYC because he wanted to get out of his gang. I asked him how he got to NYC and he said he flew. I was like bullshit asshole why would you fly when it's a frickin 6 hour drive from here? And you'd have to go to a Syracuse or a Rochester airport and why would you go through all that and spend unnessicary money? He's like Oh Because I wanted to get there quicker. I was like Dude, we both know you don't have money for that and I seriously doubt that your stupid ass went to New York City without your mother knowing you were missing. Well, he kept coming up with excuses that I could see right through. For instance. When I asked him how he got out of his gang he said he killed the leader. I told him Why do I seriously doubt that? OH! I KNOW WHY! BECAUSE YOU CAN"T KILL A GANG LEADER YOU IDIOT!! If you do, you will have a million pissed off people after you, and I KNOW thats NOT how you get out of a gang. They would never have a proposition like "Hey! If you kill the leader before he kills you then you're free!" And I know they wouldn't because I have experience with that kind of thing. And even if they did, I know that the leader would win, because they don't crown him the leader of 1,000 people for nothing. And my friend was trying to say Oh yeah I'm out and I won and blah blah blah, Well. He's a shitty liar cuz I can see right through him and I CAN'T STAND IT WHEN PEOPLE LIE ABOUT STUPID SHIT LIKE THAT AND THINK IT'S COOL! OH YEAH IT'S COOL TO BE IN A GANG. Well I've been in one for 3 years and It's NOT cool! Anyway. yeah I know I could just move my cat but I don't want to cuz he looks so sweet sleeping. :) Well so far it really has NOT been a good day but write me soon. ~Sweet Lil Frankie
Frankie - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
This is for "had it" who commented that I should take my conversation elsewhere: I'm not really in a good mood right now so you picked a bad time to comment. First of all. I don't give a SHIT who's trying to vote on this parody, they can still do it if they want to. No one is keeping them from doing it, you retard. AND If I wanna talk to someone here I damn well will and there ain't shit you can do about it aight? And BTW Yeah I do remember the original parody and if I recall correctly It SUCKS ASS! SO PISS OFF YOU STUPID SHIT!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, I hate it when people lie like that all the time. I especially agree with the "killing the leader" thing. On TV, when someone kills the leader, the gang suddenly is terrified of that person, but in real life, if someone kills a gang leader, they're dead meat. Also, I often have the same problem moving a cat. Cuteness can be overwhelming. ;-) Anyways, sorry I can only give a small reply to your huge comment.
Frankie - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
*Yawns.* I'm so tired. Just got up. It's about 12:3o. Well as you can probably see yesterday night wasn't too great for me. But what can ya do? So. Here's what I decided. Since we are pissing people off by writing on here (Not that I care much) you write back to this on my Kid Rock Parody. ok? (It's genre is 2000's and the title is Forever) And yeah I was making fun of pot heads, not encouraging people to do drugs. But I thought it was pretty funny and thanks for the congrats. Well we have a septic guy here right now to fix our septic tank (EEw) And so my step dad told me I can't take a shower this morning. I was like uh ok. Frickin wierd. But I can understand how he wouldn't want me to since the guy is standing right nesx to the septic tank and the reason he's here is because it's full and we can't fix it. LOL! Write me. Frankie
Frankie - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Woah dude where you at? Kinds miss ya. It's 2:3o pm here.
G_D fo LiFFe - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Own King Hoover, GD's is cummin fo hooeva talk bout us We is cumin
fb - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
g-unit
Ashkicksass - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
While I feel that cumin is a delicious spice, and good in many dishes, I really don't unserstand what you mean when you say "we is cumin." And who is Own King Hoover? Is he related to Good King Wenseclas?
Arwen - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
I, too, am baffled, AKA. But if we're talking about spices...I'm getting out from under this universally inflicted cumin conspiracy...I prefer a pinch of paprika, myself.
Ashkicksass - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
*understand. You shoud never have typos in comments when you're making fun of people. I am so pissed.
Arwen - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
DAMMIT! I didn't even catch it!
Ashkicksass - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
There is a typo in should too. LMAO
Arwen - July 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Heehee!
hollow man - September 03, 2004 - Report this comment
wow
drewster the rooster - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
wow, how weird was that sudden love affair between marshal and frankie? r u two still e-talking to each other? or sick of each other? or found each other and making sweet sweet love? what's happening there? i just read a love affair unfold and now im addicted and the two of u just stopped talking? what happened there?
Arwen - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
drewster...they got yelled at for clogging up the comments on this parody...then they talked forEVER on a parody that Frankie submitted...and then...just as you say...the suddenly disappeared. I think they talk over on YWN's own website/messageboard or something.

kisha...you can say that again. And you probably should...with a little articulation...and a spell checker. Because I don't think most of us are fluent in the language of thugs with poor keyboarding skillz...fo' shizzle....
Stuart McArthur - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
A and A - you two are so funny
Ashkicksass - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Takes one to know one, darling Stuart! Now please report to the thread.
Johnny D - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Watch out, Stuart, you lucky bastard. First it starts with the thread...but pretty soon, here come the silk scarves, and then, before you know it, the freakin' ROPES.
Stuart McArthur - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
johnny - I suspected, but now I know - these two are my cyberspace dream gals (hyperventilating)
Ashkicksass - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
You two should be so lucky...
Stuart McArthur - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
we're sorry you caught us whispering your Highness
Arwen - October 14, 2004 - Report this comment
L-ing OL, Ashkicksass..."For goodness sake..."
8-BALL - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Im a crip thats bull what you wrote there f*** you
Northeņa - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
hahahahahahahahah
Brownz - March 25, 2005 - Report this comment
West Side
Donjuan recordings @ soundclick - January 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Original but if you said that on a stage at a Def Poet Mic Stand someone would say SHUT THE F* ** UP
Gel - September 09, 2007 - Report this comment
There are plenty of gangs in the NJ NY area where Im from. Newark is like an hour drive from south jersey
Girl DiGeek - December 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Guy, This title is the first on the page I saw where I immediately knew what song you were parodying without glancing to the right! I literally laughed out loud immediately. Such incongruity between the original song and the new lyrics/subject matter made me giggle. :-) Great job! hehehe...
Max Power - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Shot you up with 555 bullets.
Guy - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Girl DiGeek is one of my coworkers and I gave her a verbal thanks on the comment some months back right after she commented.

Max - How refreshing to see an honest to goodness non gang related comment on this song. I'm making exception to the Amiright parody authors who jokeyed with the bangers a few years back. "Cappin'" my thanks right back at ya for weighing in and "shooting" me 5s. I never in my wildest dreams imagined this many comments on such a simple parody.
adagio - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Guy, you get another comment and 5's from me. My comment isn't as long as the others. though.

I've got a good start on my parody, thank goodnes and when I get a good start, I can write it faster.

You really did have an incongruous mix of OS and parody that really fit. 5's
Guy - March 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Pat Well as I recall writing it, it did seem like a simple one to me. I usually fair pretty well with the incongruous lyric style and good luck on your current write. And by all means have fun while you are doing it.
smokya - October 12, 2009 - Report this comment
G Folk Nation 360 Blue is True Red is Dead Thugin up Fo sho Keep it Real For The Dead Homies Feel Me........
Gangus Con - December 31, 2014 - Report this comment
Shizzle, yo.
Great great grandson of Grand Pa Lang - November 22, 2021 - Report this comment

There was a man, his name was Lang,
And he had a neon sign.
Since Mr Lang was very old,
They just called it old Lang's sign.

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