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Song Parodies -> "Marky Bass"
Original Song Title:
"Gunga Din"
Original Performer:
Rudyard Kipling
Parody Song Title:
"Marky Bass"
Parody Written by:
Clifton Palmer McLendon
The Lyrics
In September of 1981, I began working for the Texas Prison System. My first duty station was the George J. Beto No. 1 Unit in rural Anderson County near Palestine. I was on Third Shift (8 pm to 4 am), and I loved my job. I was a man among men, with no women to distract me; the food was excellent; my room was comfortable; I was making money hand-over-fist; I was good at what I did and my supervisors never lost an opportunity to tell me so ...One of my brother officers was a rather large obnoxious young man named Mark Bass. He was forever tossing barbed insults my way. That I always managed to reply in kind, and over-trump him, did not deter him.One night before shift-meeting, he was in fine form. He fired his insults as if from a Gatling gun. Despairing of returning shot for shot, I took a few seconds to scribble an idea, then stood and - with great histrionics - declaimed:
You can name some all-time greats
In the world of heavyweights
Such as elephants, and dinosaurs, and cruisers.
But if you were to match 'em
To a man I know, you'd scratch 'em
As a bunch of puny, penny-ante losers.
Near the town of Palestine,
There among the evergreens
And the rolling hills of lush Bermuda grass,
Lives the fattest human known,
Weighing twenty thousand stone -
He's the Beto Blob of Blubber: Marky Bass!
For it's "Bass! Bass! Bass!
Have a dozen over easy, Marky Bass!
Though I spent my whole life eatin'
Still I know you'd not be beaten -
You're a fatter man than I am, Marky Bass!"
In the world of heavyweights
Such as elephants, and dinosaurs, and cruisers.
But if you were to match 'em
To a man I know, you'd scratch 'em
As a bunch of puny, penny-ante losers.
Near the town of Palestine,
There among the evergreens
And the rolling hills of lush Bermuda grass,
Lives the fattest human known,
Weighing twenty thousand stone -
He's the Beto Blob of Blubber: Marky Bass!
For it's "Bass! Bass! Bass!
Have a dozen over easy, Marky Bass!
Though I spent my whole life eatin'
Still I know you'd not be beaten -
You're a fatter man than I am, Marky Bass!"
(TO THE MODERATOR:Of course, this one is a POEM parody, not a SONG parody.)
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